A Reset For Midway Through a 30-Day Break From Alcohol
Are you losing steam during Sober October or a Dry month?
If you said, yes! You’re not alone. It’s time for a heart storming session as a way to reset and finish your break on your terms.
Episode 303
If you are in the middle of a 30-day break from alcohol and feeling your motivation to keep going starting to wane I want to share some words of encouragement so you keep going toward what you want more than alcohol and do a little reset for yourself.
I’m PROUD of you for getting to a point where you are on a break. That’s a big deal!
This episode is for you if you want to keep going. If you’ve changed your mind and decided not to take a break right now, I’m proud of you! You can change your mind; I’m not here to change it. I want what you want. I’m going to support you either way.
In this episode, you will hear:
The signs that you deserve to hit the reset button mid-month are.
The challenges of losing steam from day one to day 15.
How to make the most of the 15 days left in the month by resetting using a “heart-storming” session with eight prompts to help you reflect on where you are and where you want to be.
Here are 8 heart storming prompts to help you reset and refocus halfway through your 30-day break from alcohol:
Give yourself grace and compassion instead of self-criticism. Acknowledge that taking a break from alcohol can be challenging. Say: I give myself grace and compassion instead of self-criticism.
Reconnect with your 'why': Reflect on why you're taking this break and why it matters to you. Write it down - say it out loud. Remember the meaning of this break. It mattered to you on day one and it still does.
Mindset check: Are you focusing on a REAL break from drinking and whatever it is that you need a break from? Are you tracking days that you don't drink to get to day 30 or are you tracking all the progress you're making and how proud you are of yourself?
Visualize the finish line: Who is at the finish line? Your future self cheering you on with PRIDE and AWE or alcohol? Get clear on this vision.
Evaluate timing: Assess if a 30-day break works for you or if it's causing too much pressure. If it is, focus on the next 15 days as adding to any days you've already taken away from alcohol. They don't have to be consistent days.
Create alcohol-free rituals: Write out activities you can do for yourself at various times, making these rituals more special than alcohol.
Play the “show” forward: Imagine the consequences of drinking vs. staying alcohol-free. If you're tired of reruns, create a brand new episode tomorrow.
Plan your celebration: How will you celebrate your progress? Plan a reward for yourself at the end of your 30-day break. It could be something small like a spa day, a new book, or a special outing.
This RESET is about aligning with your heart and soul. It's an opportunity to reconnect with your reasons for taking this break and to focus on what truly matters to you.
I’m rooting for you!
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Hello there, my friend. Welcome. I am Lori. I am so happy that you are here today. This is To 50 and Beyond where we talk about living alcohol-free later in life. If you're new to the podcast, thank you for tuning in. Chances are you may be midway through a 30-day break from alcohol and you need maybe a little bit of a reset. You can push the reset button at any time. And that is what we're talking about today. You're turning back to the podcast. Thanks so much for coming back. I'm giving you a big virtual hug. I'm the midlife sobriety coach and founder of Team Alcohol-Free, an online community for women 35 and over who are curious about living alcohol-free and already living that alcohol-free lifestyle. We're doing it together. Let's see. I took two breaks from drinking alcohol back in 2012 was my first one. And then in 2013, I started drinking at 14 and around that time in my life, I got to a point where I was really questioning my drinking and I took my first break in January of 2012. There was no dry January at the time. There was me wanting to prove to myself that my drinking wasn't a problem, that I could take a break and then go back to drinking. I just really needed to figure out, like, Do I have something else going on? Because I always thought I was a party girl. I always thought that everybody drinks. This is what we do. And I'm going to continue to do it for the rest of my life. And what I figured out around that time was alcohol wasn't working for me. I was in perimenopause and I felt like there was something more to my drinking than just being the party girl. I was changing and right smack in the middle of my forties is when I decided, mm, doesn't matter if I have a problem or not, what matters most is what I do going forward, and I chose to stop drinking August 11, 2013. So I know what it's like to take a break from alcohol. I know what it's like to be even beyond 30 days and feel like, oh, I just don't know. I don't know if this is for me. If this is what I should be doing. And so I want to talk a little bit more about that today and where you might be. If you are in the middle of a 30-day break from alcohol and you're feeling your motivation to keep going starting to wane, I really just want to share some words of encouragement with you today to keep moving forward, do a little reset for yourself if that is what you choose. I'm proud of you for getting to a point where you are on a break. That's a big deal. That's a big deal. That means we are aware, doesn't have to be like my drinking, like, I think there's a problem there. I just even hate using that word, problem. I made myself the problem, but it was really alcohol that was creating problems in my life. But you can get to a point where it's just like, I just feel like I want to take a break. I just need to take a break. And that's where a lot of women are in midlife. So I'm really proud of you. And this episode is for you if you want to keep going, if you've changed your mind and decided not to do a break right now, I'm proud of you. You can change your mind and I'm not here to change it back. I want what you want. I'm going to support you either way, but I feel like somebody out there needs to hear this. Like, it is okay to change your mind because the more pressure you add to yourself, the more you're going to want to drink. And there really is this vortex of pressure that we create for ourselves. It's just this cycle. And the minute you say I'm taking a break, you start to feel it. It's building up. It's just like with anything, if we look at it as I'm taking something away from my life that I rely on and I turn to in good times and bad. It's scary. And so if I can say anything before we start this, you can reframe your mindset around that. I'm not saying, “you know, look at all the things that you're adding to your life.” Cause I know that's a thing. I'm not putting it down, but honestly, like today, let's do a little heartstorming. Let's get to the heart of it and figure out what you want going forward. And again, I support you either way. But if you've changed your mind and you're adding pressure to yourself, or you just feel like, “Oh my goodness, I'm really looking at this as something that I am depriving myself of,” maybe today you sit down with yourself and you have a better conversation. This topic came from a sweet gal in my email community. She wrote me and she said, “I'm excited to start Sober October, I've done it before and didn't make it past day 17. For some reason, mid-month, I talked myself back into drinking by saying, ‘I feel better. I can handle drinking,’ or ‘My drinking isn't that bad. I don't need a break.’ My motivation from day one is completely gone by mid-month.” I've been there and I'm going to assume that most of the gals listening with you to this episode have as well. I've talked about taking a 30-day break or longer, but I haven't talked about the midway point, and it's so important. Mid-month, it's a lot like mid-afternoon and I know if you have the daily sobriety toolkit, my resource that I created for you where it has three shifts, the morning, the afternoon, and the evening. You know, that midway point, the afternoon shift is really important because we can wake up in the morning. I'm not drinking today. And then by mid-afternoon, it's, well, just one won't hurt. I deserve it. Of course, life is happening throughout the day. We never know what's going to happen from morning to midday to evening. I'll start again tomorrow. If you don't have the daily sobriety toolkit, it's a freebie. You can always click the link in the show notes and grab that, but it's the same with a month-long break. When I sit down with my clients, we look at an overview of our time together. So typically this year I've been working with 12 weeks. We look at the overview of what's ahead but we work week to week and of course day to day. And this works for a majority of my clients. I will say almost all of them because when you sit down and you look at, okay, I'm going to look at the next 12 weeks. Well, that to me seems like forever. It does seem like a long time. And then also even a month. So when you're looking at the month, it can be really challenging. I know for a fact that these dry months are so helpful because so many other people are doing it with you, but it doesn't mean that it's easier not to drink. And I feel like a lot of gals out there are saying, I should be able to do this because it's Sober October because my BFF Barb is doing it with me. I want you to give yourself a break from shoulding yourself. And know that it's a challenge and you can reset at the midway point and I'm going to give you some prompts to reset by. And I'm going to give you some things to ponder today. So we're on the same page. What you're actually taking a break from is alcohol. It's a psychoactive substance found in beverages like beer, wine, and spirits. It's produced through the fermentation of sugars by yeast. And when consumed, alcohol affects the central nervous system, leading to various physical and mental effects. That's alcohol. It's going to stay the same. It's always going to be there. Now, what you're taking a break from is anything that you're saying, “I just don't know if drinking is for me anymore.” It could be something like, I'm tired of drinking. I want to feel better. That was mine in the beginning. And that was my reason why I don't want to have hangovers. I want to, I actually want to challenge myself and see how it goes. I need a challenge in my life. We got to spice it up sometimes in midlife. I know a break from drinking means something to you or you wouldn't be doing it. You wouldn't be here with me. So we're going to hash that out. You deserve to focus on the meaning and the purpose behind you not drinking more meaning over why you don't want to drink versus why you do. And if you want to be motivated, you can become your personal hype gal and motivate yourself by focusing on something that is motivating. Because I know most women in midlife and beyond do not find the terms dry and sober motivating. In fact, they find it unmotivating and their energy around the terms dry and sober is low vibes. It's much more difficult to make changes in our lives when we are low-vibing, when we feel, ooh, there's a stigma around those words, even though other people are doing this too. They have different reasons. So today I want to give you a big old permission slip. To change the name of your break, put some meaning behind it and reset to finish it out on your terms with some new higher vibe energy. A reset can help you connect with the true meaning behind your break so you can give yourself a fresher perspective. And really for the next 15 days, hunker down and do something for yourself. Some of the signs you deserve a reset are You're disappointed in yourself because you didn't follow through on your intention to take the entire month off. You got to day 3 or 10 or 21, and you drank because you had a craving and felt restless, or your social calendar made it really difficult to stay alcohol-free. Life is happening. You convinced yourself that it's you. You can't do it. You do this all the time. What's the point? I can't get back on track on day 15. I've already blown it. I know how this goes because this is me. Definitely. And I have that mindset. If it's mid month, I can't start anything. Well, you can, you can reframe it. You can get back on track for the next 15 days, 15 days. There are 360 hours in 15 days, approximately 16 waking hours. If you're lucky enough to sleep eight hours a day. Lucky you. I don't, so I have even more hours. In 15 days, you can be really proud of yourself for following through and the story changes. No longer, I can't. It's I did. The follow-through and honoring your word to yourself. Don't break your word over alcohol. Keep your word to yourself. In 15 days, you can save money, can put that towards a nice little sweet reward. At the end of this, you can learn more about your urges. Because you know those F it moments you get. You have an urge, like, what is really going on with this? Take the next 15 days. Get curious. Start writing about it. You can do a lot in 15 days, so don't throw them out the window. They are there for you. Another sign you deserve a reset. Your brain is still adjusting to the absence of that energy. Alcohol-induced dopamine spike, you know, this can lead to feelings of sadness and restlessness in those first couple of weeks. And if you've gotten through the first couple of weeks and you're there and you realize, you know what? It wasn't that easy. Keep going. They'll use that for motivation. Another sign you are sailing through those first couple of weeks. They were tough, but you're feeling better and now you're in heavy negotiations with yourself to go back to your old friend, alcohol. Two weeks was enough, I've got this, only one glass, I deserve it. You probably didn't need a break. You're romanticizing alcohol. Romanticize the relationship with yourself above alcohol and again go back to, I'm gonna romanticize how lovely it's going to be to complete the next 15 days on my terms. Lastly, you're doing it, but you're not feeling excited about a break and you're counting down the days until you can drink again. You may be thinking, this isn't helping. I'm not feeling better. It didn't help with my sleep. It made it worse. It didn't help with my anxiety. I feel more anxious. You may experience some mood swings, anxiety, some irritability. I had all of that. One of the top reasons folks go back to drinking is because the first two to four weeks is tough. So if you're experiencing, of course, any kind of physical withdrawals, and this is the reason why you're having a hard time staying alcohol-free, I hope that you can get to a place where you can ask for help. Start with a trusted doctor. loved one or your doctor. But if you're just in that place where you're just feeling like I set out with this expectation that I was going to feel better, check in with your expectations for a moment. Even if this is your 10th time doing a 30-day break, we just never know the changes that we are going through. The older we get, we just never know. How a break from alcohol is going to affect us. So let's do a reset together. Grab a journal where you can answer the questions that I'm going to present to you out loud. A heartstorming session is what I want you to do because sometimes our brain and our heart is not aligned, especially if you're having those negotiations with yourself, your brain saying one thing. Take some time, get quiet, take a walk, whatever feels good for you, and listen to your heart. Connect with your heart and your future self at the end of the 15 days and what she is encouraging you to do. Listen for those messages. I have eight ideas for you so you can choose one or you can choose all eight just to reflect on and again, if you want, say these things out loud to yourself. I give myself grace and compassion instead of self-criticism. Acknowledge that taking a break from alcohol can be challenging and acknowledge again your gratitude for yourself for bringing yourself here. Grace and self-compassion go a long way. That's got to be first. Number two, reconnect with Your motivation of why you wanted this on day one. Reflect on why you're taking this break and why that reason matters to you. I'd like you to write that down or say it out loud right now. If I were to ask you, why do you want to take this break from alcohol? What would you say? Remember the meaning of this break. It mattered to you on day one and it still does. Sometimes we just need more of a reminder, especially on the days when the F it button is right in our face. Number three, what is your mindset? Are you focusing on a real break from drinking and whatever it is that you need a break from that alcohol brings into your life? Or are you tracking days that you don't drink to get to day 30? And, um, you're on a countdown because it hits differently. Like I said in the beginning, that first break, I wanted to prove to myself that I didn't have a problem with alcohol. I was always counting down the days. I wasn't looking at it as this is a real break. I can learn more about what is motivating me to drink. I can learn more about tools that I can use that help me during those effort moments. I can learn more about myself. That's the most important part of all of this. Are you counting down or are you tracking in a way to be proud of yourself? Who is at the finish line? Your future self cheering you on with pride and awe or alcohol? Get clear on this vision and then decide. I want my future self there. I want her to be cheering me on. I can see her. Number four, evaluate. Allow yourself some flexibility here. If a 30-day break doesn't work for you, if it's causing you too much pressure, don't. Focus on the next 15 days is adding to any days you've already taken away from alcohol. They don't have to be consistent days. That pressure, if it's making you want to drink, uh, take the pressure off of yourself and find a little bit more flexibility. And if this time is not right for you, give yourself permission to say, it's not the right time. I'm going to move forward. It doesn't mean that you have to go back to the patterns that you had before. Learn from this break, but also re-evaluate because the pressure, it's not going to do you any good. Number five, take some time, write out some activities you can do for yourself. When you have those moments where the urges are taking over, making these rituals more special than alcohol. So it could be my favorite end of the day shower, washing the day off, listening to some music or a podcast, something that helps me really unwind at the end of the day. Make something very special for yourself can become a habit for you and a ritual. This is a great way to spend the next 15 days. Number six, visualize the outcomes. Play the show forward to tomorrow or maybe to tonight. Imagine what you get from drinking alcohol versus staying alcohol-free. And if you're tired of the reruns, the same show over and over again, you can create a brand new episode tomorrow by reminding yourself each and every time something comes up. Maybe you get an invite somewhere and go, Nope, I want to wake up tomorrow. I want to feel my best. I want a new episode. I'm tired of the reruns. So many of these practices are such a great practice in being mindful, and that's a great habit to build. Then decide if you're going to finish the month, go all in. If you're going to give yourself a break, give yourself a break with self-compassion and grace. and do it again at some other time. If you decide to complete the 30-day break, the next prompt, let's see, number 7, reframe the next 15 days. Create a theme for finishing on your terms. For example, Project Me or 15 Days of Freedom. If that sounds better to you than Sober October. or a dry January. Create your theme so you can get excited about it. I mean, the sky is the limit. 15 days of freedom. I like that one. Celebrate how far you've come right now before you move forward and then also plan something for yourself at the end of this 30-day break. What will you put that money that you're saving on alcohol towards? This could be a spa treatment, a book, a special outing. You could. Sock it away for later. Do something for yourself, but always celebrate how far you have come first, next. After completing the challenge, reflect on your experience and consider what's next for you. You don't have to decide if it's forever, but highlight what you experienced in your journal and make sure to include things you learned about yourself. during the past 30 days. This reset is all about aligning with your heart and soul. It's an opportunity to reconnect with your reasons for taking this break and to focus on what truly matters to you. And when you document it, especially in a journal, you can go back during hard times in the future. If you take another break and go, okay, this is what I did. Mid-month, I reset. I took a look at my reason why. I re-evaluated if the timing was right. I decided that it was and I was going to go all in. I created a different theme around this break, one that is more motivating.
And I learned a lot in those 360 hours, those 15 days that were left. Or if you're listening to this at any time, if you have time. Three days left, or if you have 21 days left, whatever it is for you, do this reset to come back to your reason why. Do this heartstorming session with yourself and say to yourself right now, out loud, please for me, I matter.
My reason why matters. It's not going to change. Alcohol is not going to change. I know for me, I am in this for this reason. Say it out loud. Say it proud. Say it to yourself throughout the day. And write it down as much as possible. I want to share a few things that are coming in 2025 because I'm working really hard right now on what is coming in 2025.
And I want to get it done before the end of the year so I can have some time off. I have a new one on one six week coaching package. It's coming in November for pre enrollment for January. This is a plan that will help you ease into living alcohol free by setting goals, taking breaks, and mapping out your alcohol free lifestyle.
It's actually called the Ease In Plan. It's not up on my website yet, but if you want to learn more about enrollment, you can send me an email directly. Team Alcohol Free Plus. This is 2025. This is the program that you want to be in. If you want a year long program, it's going to be broken down into 12 weeks, each quarter inside to help you make money.
2025, the year of you being alcohol free, and so much more. There's so many wonderful things that I'm working on for the team in 2025. This is an online group that started in 2023. and we are going strong. It's a smaller group and you get multiple meetings throughout the week. If you join the plus plan, the community plan is there also and you get a few meetings throughout the month.
So I have two plans for you. The reason that I'm talking about this now is I will be closing enrollment for team alcohol free November 15th and 2024 pricing. Everything is going away. So if you want to enroll now, you get holiday support. There's a special planning session at the end of December. For 2025, this will kickstart your goals for the new year and that first quarter and enrollment will not be open until early or mid January.
So if you need extra support for the holidays and you want to really kick the new year off with your intention of being alcohol free. Join Team Alcohol Free. It is linked in the show notes or you can go to lauriemassacott. com to join today. And then I'm also working on a 12 week planner that is undated.
I hope that I will have it completed and ready to purchase in December. Not saying what date, but if you want to be in the know, join my email community or download the Daily Sobriety Toolkit. This planner is a big old love letter to women who want to give themselves a break from alcohol. And go all in on themselves.
I cannot wait to hold the final product in my hands. I know that, you know, every year more and more women are deciding to either take a break from alcohol or go alcohol free, midlife women. And I've seen it grown since I've started this and started coaching in 2018. I've seen it grow, and I just want to declare 2025, 2025, this is going to be the era of the midlife alcohol free woman.
I know this for a fact, and I am here for it. So far as the podcast, the podcast will continue with solo episodes for the remainder of the year. I will have a couple of interviews coming to you. I have one coming next month with Karen Eman, who is the author of When Making Others Happy Is Making You Miserable.
It's an interview about overcoming people pleasing and how the Bible played a role in how people Karen's end to making others happy. I will see you next week, my friend, take the next 15 days and make them yours or however many days left you have in this 30 day break. If you need this reset, take it for yourself, get to the heart of the matter.
And I'm with you. I'm cheering for you always. I'll see you soon. Peace.
Want more? Check out these popular episodes:
Understanding Alcohol Use Disorder with Sarah Rusbatch
5 Essential Ways to Manage Cravings and Urges Without Drinking
5 Practical Tips to Help You Stop Drinking in Midlife and Beyond
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