When Does Sobriety Stop Being Hard?
Episode 295
In this episode, I share my personal journey and experiences with sobriety, addressing the common question: When does sobriety stop being hard?
I’ve shared my story since the beginning of this podcast. I had a tough time in the first and second years. I went it on my own. In 2013, I didn’t know about podcasts or books about sobriety.
Change and transition are tough, even if you appreciate change in your life. When we’re talking about our bond with alcohol and transitioning out of having it in our lives, it’s tough.
No matter how much or how long you spend drinking, we all face a challenge when we quit, but we don’t all feel the same way.
Here is the good news - if you are going alcohol-free today, you have many wonderful resources that offer hope and support, from in-person groups to online. It’s a GREAT time to get sober in midlife and in this day and age.
I’m here to give you hope and suggestions to help you through the hard moments.
Always remember that time is your best friend when it comes to overcoming challenges in early sobriety. Be patient with yourself.
What you’ll hear:
Why it’s important to stay in your lane and not compare your sobriety to anyone else.
The importance of having realistic expectations about the time it takes to recover.
Strategies to help you through the hard parts of early sobriety and beyond.
Why physical activity and music can change your attitude and mood in a short amount of time.
How to implement creative outlets like gardening, creating vision boards, and doing puzzles to keep you occupied during moments when you want to drink but want to stay sober.
The importance of finding a supportive community that keeps you on track, inspired, and motivated.
Mentioned in this episode:
The Daily Sobriety Toolkit
Join Team Alcohol-Free
Q & A Series
The Hardest Part of Getting Sober
Wondering if Your Drinking Isn’t “Bad Enough” to Quit?
The Benefits of Staying Sober When You’re Alone
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[00:00:00] Today, I'm wrapping up my Q& A series with a question I received in our Team Alcohol Free community. When does sobriety stop being hard? When does not drinking or being alcohol free get a little bit better, a little more enjoyable? This is what I am sharing with you today. I will talk about what my hard was when I quit drinking and what helped me work through those times.
Cheers! Cheers! This is one of the topics that I would have loved to have heard another gal's experience with when I stopped drinking. And I realize how many times I say that on the podcast, like, I would have loved to have heard this because you'll hear a little bit more about why that is in this episode.
I went it alone. I really would have loved to have heard Someone tell me, when does it start to get more enjoyable? Welcome to the podcast. If you're new here, I am Lori, the midlife sobriety coach, founder of team alcohol free and creator of the daily sobriety toolkit. I decided to stop drinking on [00:01:00] August 11th, 2013, after 30 years of consistent, moderate to heavy drinking.
Because I wanted to feel better. I wanted to have a better future for myself. I was sick of really trying to get a different result with my drinking and always getting the same result that I had. I was done playing the moderation game. I was done BSing myself. I knew I had an inkling that alcohol was.
Going to make it impossible for me to have the life that I really wanted, which is I wanted to age better. I wanted to be free and I wanted to have more peace in my life. I wanted to look better. I wanted to feel better. That was my real reason why. So I went all in and I decided to stop drinking. That is why we are here together today.
And if you're returning back to the podcast, you know, I appreciate you. Thank you so much for coming back. I'm giving y'all a big hug as we start this. Topic off. I want to say first, sobriety is not a universal experience. It's not one size fits all. We are all on the same road [00:02:00] to alcohol freedom. This is honestly how I visualize it.
We're all on this road to alcohol freedom and we all have different lanes and just one huge wide road where we're all walking together. Some of us are a little bit further ahead. Some of us are a little bit behind. We're all there together. And we're walking it and you got to stay in your own lane. I don't believe in timelines in general, as far as like on day 21, you're going to have a much better experience.
I will never say that. You create your own timeline in your own lane based on your experience. When I was asked this question, when is it not as hard? I said, you're going to be able to answer this for yourself if you are somebody who is experiencing sobriety as hard. Not everyone finds giving up alcohol hard.
I'm not here to burst anyone's bubble or I am not here. This is what I want to say to you, my friend, I'm not here to tell you how hard it's going to be. And that's going to be your reason [00:03:00] to not start. If you want this for yourself, I want this for you. I'm always here to share my experience and I've shared it from day one of the podcast.
In the beginning, I had a really tough time the first couple of years. What I'm going to share with you is what helped me. And the good news is today, well, I think it's good. And sometimes for me, I could look at it as, I don't know if that would have been good for me. I did go it on my own in 2013. I didn't have the podcast.
I didn't have the books on sobriety. Here is the good news. And then for me, I'm looking at it as I'm not sure it would be good news. If you are going alcohol free today, you have so many wonderful resources that offer hope and support from in person groups to online. I always encourage you to get support, either start with your doctor, find a group that works for you and always get that inspiration in your ears.
We've got the podcast episodes. We have of course, quit lit on audible, anywhere you can get the inspiration for me and [00:04:00] my personality. I realized that having all of these resources. May have made it more difficult back then. I think I would have compared myself. I would have felt bad if I was having a hard time and somebody else was telling their story.
I would have found hope in that for sure. But for me, I'm being honest. It may have detoured me a little bit and I may have gotten down about it. So I get that when other women tell me that. So this is what I want to say to you. If this is your experience or you're feeling this, protect yourself at all costs.
Turn this podcast off. If you don't want to listen to it, take the apps off your phone. Do what works for you. Stay in your lane. I'm there with you. Go out and live your life. And tune things out for a little bit. You're writing your own quitlet. We all are. This is our experience. I want you to own it. And I never want you to compare yourself.
And I never want you to come here and think, well, Lori had this hard experience, so I'm going to have it. So I'm not going to stop drinking. [00:05:00] No, we got to go into this with neutral expectations. I'm going to talk a little bit about my expectations and why I had really unrealistic ones. We are here. In this really wonderful experience at this really great stage of life to go alcohol free because we are transitioning, we're already going through the change of life and there are certain changes that a lot of people find easier to make than others.
A lot of people will find removing alcohol because it doesn't work for them and their perimenopause. Like a no brainer, but for others like myself, I'm raising my hand for two years. I tried to make alcohol work. It's not that simple. We're writing our own experience. And I'm going to share a little bit of my journal with you today that I wrote on four at eight weeks sober.
I was writing in that journal. And now I do look at it as this is my. This is my story. This is my quit lit. As I mentioned in episode 290, answering the question, what was the hardest part of getting sober? For me, it was the decision to stop drinking. That's what I [00:06:00] look at as getting sober. The lead up for those two years, I was trying to get a different results.
I was dancing around the fact that it was something that I needed to do is take care of my drinking, not drink anymore. I was trying to, you know, a new skincare potion, trying to eat better, trying to incorporate exercise, like No, you still feel like crap. I think it's the alcohol. I was dancing around it because I didn't want to let it go.
So that lead up in that two years for me was what I look at as getting sober. So if you are doing this and you're not consistent, you're taking breaks, you're going back and forth. This is your lead up. You're on the road to alcohol freedom. You may not be in that place where you're consistently not drinking.
Don't kid yourself, kid. You're on the road to alcohol freedom. After you stop drinking, I look at that as that is the transition and now you're working on staying sober. So you're getting sober. Now you're staying sober. That decision that I made on August 11th, 2013, it was not planned. It was not in the works.
I had two bottles on deck. I was ready to drink my face off that night. Cause I was home [00:07:00] alone. But because I was in that thought process and I was so tired of myself, so tired of the same results, that's the night. That I decided to stop drinking after I stopped drinking. I found it very challenging for many of the same reasons.
Most women find it challenging. And this is what I want to share with you early on. What felt really hard for me. I didn't have a plan that is tough. I wasn't sure what to focus on, what not to focus on. And the toughest part of that was I was doing some of the same stuff that I did while drinking. So the longer that I went without drinking, I would stay within that first 90 days, pretty early on.
I knew. You got to do the opposite. You got to start changing things up even more than I had already started. We got to make these small changes. So what helped for me in the beginning was definitely realizing after I told a few people that I stopped drinking to keep it on the down low because I was not getting the response that I wanted.
It didn't feel good to me. It made me [00:08:00] anxious. So everybody was on a need to know basis that worked for me. I am somebody I like to share. If you haven't already noticed that I do like to share even back then, even when the shy girl in me, I like to have real conversations. Did I have a lot of those conversations while drinking?
Absolutely. So I decided that I'm just not going to have these conversations, especially now I'm not drinking. I can't open up as much. So I changed that up. I said no to things that I used to do. There were no more wine tastings, no more brunches, that kind of stuff. Those are the things that I thought I would miss out on.
I'm okay. I changed that up and I look at that as a way of protecting myself, not testing myself. So you got to look at, okay, if I don't have a plan, what am I doing that is making it super difficult right now for me? That's the same stuff that I was doing while drinking. Again, like the wine tasting. I did that at seven weeks sober.
Oh, worst choice that I had made in early sobriety, but I [00:09:00] did it. I got through it. Then I learned don't do that again. And so we're all going to get through these things, these hard parts. And if you don't already have the daily sobriety toolkit, this is a free resource. This will help you create a daily plan.
Go ahead and download it. It's in the show note. Change and transition are tough. Even if you appreciate change like I do in your life, I've always liked change. When we're talking about our bond with alcohol and transitioning out of having it in our lives, it's tough. I've lots of love and saying this, no matter how much or how long you drink, we all face a challenge when we quit drinking.
And if you turn to alcohol during hard times to get you through, it could make it really difficult. You can get through it. I know that you can get through it because I did. And just because we used to do things doesn't mean we have to keep doing them. Change is a process. We're all changing the change of life.
We are all getting older things that we used to do. Don't bring us as much joy. We had this conversation and team alcohol free the other day, I had [00:10:00] a. 7 a. m. coffee and conversation call, uh, the beginning of June. And we talked about a topic where I share a mantra in the book, find your happy. It's day 118.
Of course, I'm going to link that in the show notes here, so you can go and find it, but it was about expiration dates. And it's so cool because when we get on these calls, sometimes I will open those. Book and just flip to a page and I will read what it is. And then we start to have a conversation around it and the expiration dates on things like people, places, and things we are growing, we're evolving.
It hit home that day for so many of us. And especially with my drinking, I shared, you know, there was a definite expiration date on it, but I did keep trying to make it work. So as we get older, we got to honor the expiration dates. Things don't always have to be the same just because they were in our past.
The next experience that felt really hard is feeling flat. [00:11:00] I felt dull, sad, fatigued. I missed alcohol. That is hard stuff. That was one of the things that I did not want to experience. I didn't want to experience feeling like I was left out, like that part of me was gone. The only thing that helped with this.
It was time. Time is our best friend here. Time to recover. Time to heal. Time to feel the grief of losing this part of myself that I knew very, very well that I thought would be with me till the rest of my life. The party girl, the drinker. The party planner, the rallier, the good time gal, time is the only thing that helped me work through that, but the time that it took to work through that and really focus more on caring for myself and nurturing myself, like I never have feeling those feelings and letting them be.
It [00:12:00] took a while. I, I cannot tell you anything different because it took a while for me to get out of that. It just felt very flat. And I've talked about that since the beginning of the podcast as well. And you know, alcohol dulls our senses. Alcohol makes it really difficult to be resilient and be joyful.
On our own. So I wanted that joy back, you know, in those moments where we just want that relief. We just want to exhale. Let's be patient with ourselves. Let's care for ourselves on the next level. There were plenty of times where I wanted to just say F it and go all into drinking. But what I decided to do was keep reminding myself of the fact that I am not going to be in the same place.
The longer I go without drinking and also sleeping. We say self care and we hear about it sounds really trendy, but you're looking at caring for yourself and nurturing yourself on a different level prioritizing sleep prioritizing talking to somebody [00:13:00] being around other people who are supportive of you taking walks and really journaling and writing out that quick lit story for yourself.
It's hard. There are things that you could do, and that's what helped me time and all of those things up leveling the self care. Another hard experience for me was everything felt like a trigger and then that brought on the craving to drink. I would think about drinking around the clock. That was the hardest part for me for quite some time.
My expectations. We're not realistic. I'm going to talk about that in a minute. I expected. I'm going to stop drinking alcohol. I'm not going to think about drinking alcohol. I don't know why. And it makes me sound like, Ooh, you're not that smart. Are you? I'm okay with that. Naive. Maybe I've just had this hope, like I'm going to quit drinking and everything is going to be great.
And that wasn't what had happened for me. So I'll say just A little hint here before I really talk about expectations. Let's keep them neutral. What really helped me was [00:14:00] focusing on tomorrow. Like that Fleetwood Mac song, don't stop thinking about tomorrow. How do you want to wake up? How do you want to feel?
If you've heard this tool before, play the tape forward, envision that. Take a walk with that. Do anything that you can pause to bring yourself out of those moments of cravings and those moments You're gonna just say F it to myself and drink alcohol. Say F it to alcohol. Take a walk with yourself and visualize tomorrow.
Give yourself the gift of tomorrow waking up with how you want to feel. Alcohol is not going to change anything. It's not going to take away anything you want to look at tomorrow more than you look at today in those moments. And always remember your why power, your reason why you're doing this, that trumps the willpower, your why power, get clear on it.
Say it out loud right now. Did you say it? If you didn't say it right now. Mine was to feel better. I want to feel better. I want to stop getting those same results. I want different for [00:15:00] my life. Another thing that really helped me was to get busy moving my body today. Again, you've got the podcast. You can listen to an audible book, get out there, grow a garden.
Create a theme for yourself. It's not only about not drinking. It's more than that. Get excited about this. Get busy. Create a vision board. Have that creative outlet for yourself. If you're somebody who's saying, I don't like creative stuff, grab some magazines and cut some pictures out of them and glue them on a poster board or something that just have fun.
Have something that keeps your hands moving. Puzzles have helped a lot of my clients. Crafts, artwork, exercise. exercise, exercise. And then also I didn't want to undo seven days or 95 days cause it was hard. I didn't want to undo all of that. That helped me work through those efforts and stay true to why I was doing this for myself.
Because one of those reasons became, I don't want to go back. I just don't, I don't want to do [00:16:00] that hard part again. So if you feel the same, like you don't have to. Move forward, get busy, do something else moving on. Another really hard thing for me was feeling anxious and worried about my future and what people would think of me when they found out I was.
I wasn't drinking. That was really tough. I was constantly worried about it. That's again, going back to keeping everybody on a need to know basis. That was what helped me. Another thing that helped me here was really time. You get the theme time for me to become more confident in my choice. And And I did that by being proud of myself by journaling, yay, me, I felt the perks.
I started to accept those perks. And then I started to learn to be more patient with myself, more compassionate with my feelings again, not labeling them good or bad. It is okay. And staying in my lane today. Daily. Also, anything with anxiety. What [00:17:00] helps me strength training at the time. Eminem and Kid Rock in my ears at the gym on repeat journaling by starting with what is going on with you right now and letting the words flow so I could see them.
That is one of the best journal prompts. If you don't know, you're not in a practice of journaling. You just sit down with yourself and you could do it multiple times throughout the day. It's A way to bring more awareness to what is happening in your life. And then you can come up with the solution instead of like shoving it in the back of our brain.
I don't know what's going on with me. I don't know why this is happening. I'm not know why I'm feeling this way. And then all I do is drink to get rid of it. That was me for many, many years. No, get real on it. Like, let's look at it. Is it that bad? Is it that bad? What's going on with you with the anxiety?
Can you lean more into acceptance of it? Can you not label it good or bad? And this is me talking to myself, but also I'm talking to you, of course, like, how can we change this around and actually get the solution? Cause alcohol is not [00:18:00] the solution. What was also hard for me was the time it was taking the slow growth.
I talked about it and starting over on day one in that episode, which will also be linked in the show notes. I stopped counting days and tracking that way because it wasn't helping or motivating me. It was more stressing me out. So what helped me in this is checking in and getting real with my expectations and myself.
This is where I want to talk about expectations. I wanted to undo 30 years of drinking. In a very short amount of time, my expectations were unrealistic and how long this was going to take. So this is where I started to just remind myself, you got to be patient. This isn't going to happen overnight for you.
I was really the quick fix gal and dieting and all of it. Like if I started something new, I wanted to see those perks. I wanted to see progress. I wanted it quick, or I was going to lose all motivation and toss it out the door. That was one of the hardest [00:19:00] parts of this for me. Being in that, not rushing it, but man, that has been the catalyst.
That lesson of patience has been the catalyst in so many different areas of my life. Now, I don't expect things that I want that are difficult in achieving or challenging in achieving to come easy. And that's okay. I don't want anything to be easy in my life. I like a challenge. And you know, when I learned that.
When I got sober, celebrating my wins was also super helpful for me. I made it a point to start journaling about my progress. This was new to me. I was a cheerleader back in the day, but I wasn't cheering myself on. I was not that cheerleader for myself. Another really great thing that has happened in my sobriety is that I cheer for myself because I don't expect other people to do it.
I just do it on my own and it feels really good. I want to read you something that I wrote in my journal, October 1st. Always remember note to self almost eight weeks since my last drink. It is hard, [00:20:00] but I know I will never drink again. I am ashamed that I have done it for this long. I feel so much better and stronger.
It is like a cloud was lifted. Always remember this, Lori, you're looking forward to this new phase in your life. You're happier than you have been in a long time. And I signed it with two words that I have said, and now all my clients. And the gals and team alcohol free. No. And you know, yeah, me, I look at that.
Oh, I could, I could tear up, you know, me, if you've listened to the podcast before, you know, I get a little teary eyed when I read stuff like this. Yeah. Me too simple words that we can cheer ourselves on. And you can expect that from yourself. You can expect to be a cheerleader for yourself. You're expecting it from other people and they don't.
It sucks. And that makes it harder too. So we got to cheer ourselves [00:21:00] on. Also really hard not having support from other women who are doing the damn thing on my own. I'm owning this. This was my choice. I own that. But at the time I didn't like my options. There weren't options like there are today. It wasn't that inspirational.
It could have been. I feel because this is why I have a community. This is why I've been group coaching since 2018. I know that it could be better. When you have other women around you, it's more inspirational. You get more motivation and you also have a place where you can come when you were experiencing these hard times that really matters.
So what helped me, it wasn't until year two, just finding Instagram, that's community right there. This podcast is a community. My email is a community. I call it my email community where we can stay connected. You have connection To another gal or women who are doing this, it does help and I will never discount [00:22:00] this.
And again, this is the reason why I do this, but when I created two 50 and beyond on Instagram and I started meeting people that were talking about sobriety, that changed my life. I actually, that makes me want to cry because I remember thinking, man, other people are doing this. You are not alone in this.
I really thought that I was because nobody around me was doing it. Oh, get, get in a community. My friend, if it's scary, I know it's scary. I know it is have community. My friend stay connected, find a place for you that helps you. Even if it's on Instagram, because I do believe in that we can have mentors.
You'd have virtual mentors, people. I have all kinds of virtual mentors that I look up to. I'll never probably meet them, but I, they inspire me daily. And I find that still today after almost 11 years sober, I still need that in my life. I still need conversations around living alcohol free. Once you [00:23:00] drop that, you have a greater chance of going back to drinking.
So get connected. Lastly, what was really hard was feeling regretful on my drinking, realizing that I had spent a lot of time and energy on alcohol. And at 45, when I stopped, I was asking myself, who in the hell are you? Who am I? And what have you done with most of your life? There was a resistance for such a long time in that first year, especially because I felt like an imposter.
Who am I? If I'm not the party girl, who am I? If I'm not planning parties and getting everybody together with drinking the main focus, who am I and what have I done with my life and what am I going to do to make up for all this last time? That's how I looked at it. I know that this is something that happens in women's life.
We talk a lot about it in Team Alcohol Free. I've gotten emails about it. You know, what do we do now? There is regret. There's a lot of shame. There's guilt. The only thing that helped me in [00:24:00] this is to remind myself that I am doing things differently now. And I want you to always remind yourself of that and give yourself, I think, you know what I'm going to say, time to practice acceptance.
Cause that's where the resistance is. I I'm not accepting this for myself, for whatever reason, for me, it was, I'm not worthy of this life. Like if I had good days, like I just read to you on week eight, that was a really good day for Lori. Definitely the next day or that weekend was the weekend. I did the wine tasting for my sister's 50th.
That was really challenging, but that was really a good day for me. And I wanted to keep those days. I didn't want to ever experiencing anything outside of that. And what happened for me is realizing that I love feeling like this. And also moving past that resistance that I was worth feeling like this and more of an acceptance in myself.
And that only came with time and a lot of practice. I think you are worthy of this. You're worthy of [00:25:00] letting go of the life that you don't want the life that you were trying to create while drinking and then waking up the next day with this life that you have no desire to live anymore. You are worthy of letting that go and creating the life that you want.
The one that you did create in those wine fantasies while you were drinking, it's there for you. And really letting go of that resistance happened over time. There was more forgiveness in myself. It still comes up, the regret, the, you know, I've talked about it in the last few weeks. Would have put a, should I, what if I didn't drink?
What if I didn't go to that party that night in 1982, all of that kind of stuff. But darn it, I'm not going to live like that anymore. If I didn't, it would never have led me to the bar in 1997. When I met my husband, then we know how that plays out. There'd be no Spencer, my son, there'd be no massacres for the past 27 years.
So life happens and it's happening. And my goodness, we cannot [00:26:00] control what we have done in the past, but we can sure control what we do moving forward. And that's where I focus on is moving forward as a recap and a reminder. Time is your best friend. If you're having a difficult day, take a walk with yourself, get out, visualize tomorrow.
Remember, we don't experience the same things. Don't compare yourself to me or anyone else. Don't expect what I felt to be what you will experience. If you are on the fence of going alcohol free, please don't do that to yourself. The good news, and the best thing you can remind yourself of, in time, you will find ways to manage what motivates you to drink without drinking.
Those triggers, they may still come up, but you've got new tools now. You're not turning to alcohol. Alcohol is one option. There's so many other options. You will be who you are and feel how you feel without using alcohol to dim your light and dull your senses. That will bring you more clarity, more strength, more confidence in yourself, less anxiety and stress in your life.
You will find more confidence in your choice [00:27:00] not to drink. In case no one has told you this today, if you're choosing not to drink today, you're going after what you want without alcohol, whatever you want. I want for you. You are a badass. In time, you will have more acceptance. And forgiveness of your drinking because you were doing things differently.
Now, alcohol is not going to make that possible. We can't drink to find for more forgiveness in our drinking. We can't drink to find more acceptance of who we are without drinking. It's not you, it's alcohol. If you are worried and anxious about your future without alcohol, I know how hard that is. I feel that for you.
I know what that feels like. Every single day you don't drink, you're getting closer to who you are without alcohol. You will know yourself on a different level. There's a different vibe that's coming for you. Future you is cheering you on. She's in that lane. She's there past the baton. If you want to be further along, don't wait.
The hardest part is deciding to start. Don't wait, don't put yourself off. If you don't feel like you're worth it, do the damn thing. [00:28:00] And then you'll get to a point where you go, I am so worth this. I'm so worth having this life that I want. Make the decision and go all in on yourself. As Holly Whitaker says, don't question the decision.
Don't question the decision once you make it and remind yourself, you're not going to be in the same place next Wednesday as you are today or next month or next year, life happens, it's going to happen whether we are drinking or not. We do not have these days. Like I said, you know, these perfect days where I was feeling my best that happened back on October 1st, 2013, but it wasn't like that every single day.
But I could get back into that. Yay me mode. Don't discount those hard moments. All the hard. So it makes going alcohol free better. The only way out is through those moments. Don't discount the toughest days when you wanted to drink and didn't don't focus on. It was so hard. I really wanted to drink. Focus on.
I didn't drink. Yay. Me. How bad ass is that? Keep moving forward. And then please. Send me an [00:29:00] email and let me know when Life Without Alcohol has gotten better for you, more enjoyable, dare we say easier, there is an ease, there is more of a flow, in time, in time, there is more of a flow. Don't forget. If you need help daily, grab the daily sobriety toolkit.
And if you want community, you want me as your coach join team alcohol free our summer kickoff. If you're listening to this in real time, June 19th is June 20th, 2024. I'm going to be sharing the fun stuff we are doing throughout the summer months. If you want more details, make sure you're subscribed to the podcast and my email community
if you want more support to work with me privately, I do have a couple of spaces that have opened up for summer. You get access to the team. So you'll have team alcohol free.
You have 12 weeks of support weekly sessions with me. If you're ready to go all in, I am your gal go and check out my plan, a coaching package. It is also in the link in the show notes, and I will be back next week with a brand new episode, take care of yourself this week, my friend.
[00:30:00] Peace.
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