Lori Massicot: Hello, Casey.

Casey McGuire Davidson: Hi, it's so good to be here, Lori. We haven't talked in a

[00:00:05] Lori Massicot: while. I know. We've just been, uh, talking now for about 30 minutes before we started recording and it is good to see you. I love seeing you and just talking about business and podcasting and all the good stuff that's happening in life.

[00:00:18] Lori Massicot: Thank you for doing this. You're going to be my co host today as we dive into this conversation about our first year of going alcohol free and sobriety. And I feel like I want to kick it off with your sober dates.

[00:00:32] Casey McGuire Davidson: Yeah. What is it? So my sober date, it was about seven and a half years ago. So it was February 18th, 2016.

[00:00:42] Lori Massicot: So good. Congratulations. What was your sober day? I stopped drinking August 11th, 2013. So I just celebrated 10 years this month. Cause we're still in August. Oh my God,

[00:00:54] Casey McGuire Davidson: 10 years. That's crazy.

[00:00:57] Lori Massicot: It's crazy. Yeah. And I don't think that either one of us when [00:01:00] we started out on this thought in long term, but I know that I was really worried about long term for sure, which I want to touch on of course, in this episode, I'm wondering what did you think the day after you made this decision to stop drinking?

[00:01:14] Lori Massicot: What was going on the day

[00:01:14] Casey McGuire Davidson: after? I had no, no idea that it would be my last day one at all. The one thing I did differently that day was I actually hired a sober coach. So I worked with Bell from tired of thinking about drinking and people had recommended her in different groups and I did the exact same.

[00:01:36] Casey McGuire Davidson: I'm worrying I'm going to stop. I can't do this to myself anymore. 3am wake up. And the big difference was. Someone at 3 a. m. when I was reading it, again, recommended working with a coach. I've heard that before. I went into my office at 10 in the morning and I signed up. Like, that was the difference. That [00:02:00] day, on day one, I wanted to drink, right?

[00:02:02] Casey McGuire Davidson: I signed up. I sent her an email. I was like, here's my story. And then 5, 6 p. m. that night, I was like, I want a drink. What about you?

[00:02:14] Lori Massicot: The day after I stopped drinking, it was, yeah, right. Kind of, I was thinking about that this morning. It was very much, well, what do I do? What is that next step? And you know what?

[00:02:23] Lori Massicot: Honestly, I did not hear any of those downloads like you got with the coaching. It would have been helpful. But also for me, I was so ashamed and embarrassed by the fact that I had to stop drinking. That for me and my personality, I knew that I was going to go this road alone and I was going to figure it out because I didn't, I wasn't ready to reach out and get that support that I really deserved back then.

[00:02:46] Lori Massicot: I had great support with my husband and my son and those close to me, but I very much made that decision. But it was, yeah, what is next? I don't think that I ever felt like that. What did they call it? Euphoria or the pink cloud or anything like [00:03:00] that in the beginning. It was very much like every single day I created a mantra, whatever it takes, I'm not drinking.

[00:03:06] Lori Massicot: And a lot of days it was like, it's going to take a lot, it's going to take a lot.

[00:03:12] Casey McGuire Davidson: You mentioned shame. You mentioned having to stop drinking. I mean, will you tell us, like, what led up to that last day one? Because. I describe it as like the death of a thousand cups. There were plenty of times that should have been my last day that weren't.

[00:03:34] Casey McGuire Davidson: Oh, heck

[00:03:35] Lori Massicot: yeah, for sure. I had been thinking about it for two years. Somebody in my family had mentioned loosely alcoholic to me, and that term just stuck because it was like I started Yeah, there was kind of a generalization of the family and I started drinking at 14. I was the party girl. I wasn't an alcoholic.

[00:03:54] Lori Massicot: And so when I got that first download, it took me two years of really researching, Hey, do I [00:04:00] have a problem doing all the moderation, trying so hard, took a couple of breaks. But leading up to that, I would say we talk about rock bottoms. There were so many rock bottoms throughout my drinking for 30 years.

[00:04:12] Lori Massicot: I will say I, since I quit August 11th, at the end of July, I went to a concert with my friends. And our spouses and boyfriends and we went and it was one of the worst nights of my life because I got into a huge fight with my husband and we were in big place and I wasn't familiar with it and we got separated and my husband's not a fighter at all.

[00:04:33] Lori Massicot: I am. And I was just completely drunk and all I had no whereabouts about me. I was lost. I couldn't take a cab. I couldn't remember what it was. They didn't, they either, they didn't take cash. They took ATMs or something. I don't know. I was stranded and he wasn't answering and it was very scary. And so I would think like that night, cause we didn't sleep the entire night.

[00:04:57] Lori Massicot: We stayed in a hotel, woke up the next morning. And [00:05:00] when we got up, I just was so anxious. And I remember driving home thinking, you can't keep doing this. This is getting like really scary. And I guess that was it for me. And then a couple of weeks later. It was just by myself one night, then my husband and son were camping and I just said, that's it.

[00:05:18] Lori Massicot: You can't do it. And I had all the wine on deck. All the wine

[00:05:21] Casey McGuire Davidson: was on deck. Yeah. No, that's, that was the lead up. So for me, what was leading up to it, cause I think this is interesting. I think it's important even more than what happened on day 15. So I went to a conference in Arizona for work at a fancy resort.

[00:05:41] Casey McGuire Davidson: And of course, I'd been worried about my drinking for years and telling myself I need to stop. So January 1st was supposed to be my break from drinking. You can do the math. I quit on February 18th. Didn't quite stick. So I would make it four days and then drink a bottle and then four days [00:06:00] and then drink a bottle, which was Way better than nine bottles a week, but, and then I went down to Arizona and I was so excited that I was going to like sleep through the night and be an adult.

[00:06:12] Casey McGuire Davidson: My daughter was 22 months old and went to a happy hour, didn't really know anyone. They had the free shit wine. I was being the social butterfly talking to everyone. Got super drunk, somehow went back to my nice resort room, opened their little mini bar bottle of wine. God knows why I needed more. And the next morning I woke up and I was so hung over.

[00:06:39] Casey McGuire Davidson: My eyes were bloodshot. I looked, I felt like shit. I had a full day of like half hour meetings. And I went to the keynote and the guy who was supposed to be motivational had us do this exercise where we picked a stranger and we had to look into their eyes. Not saying [00:07:00] anything for five fucking minutes and it was, I never, when you move really fast, cause you don't want anyone to look at you so closely, I was just like, they're seeing my watery eyes.

[00:07:14] Casey McGuire Davidson: They're seeing my bloodshot eyes. I can't believe this is happening to me. Of course, that night I drank again. And then I went to, on vacation, my family met me in Arizona, lovely resort. We went to dinner one night, toddlers threw a plate, broke it. We ran out of there. They gave, they brought a bottle of wine to our room to be like, sorry, you had such an awful night.

[00:07:44] Casey McGuire Davidson: And I drank it. And then middle of the night, my whole family's sleeping in the next room. I was on my knees throwing up red wine, like trying to do it quietly. So they wouldn't hear me. And I was just like. I am 40 years [00:08:00] old, what is happening? And so again, not that night, four days later, I quit.

[00:08:08] Lori Massicot: Yeah. I felt all of that, especially having to sit there and look into somebody's eyes like that and feeling so poorly.

[00:08:17] Lori Massicot: Oh my goodness. It's just, yeah. I mean, honestly, when you look at it, what do you call it? The thousand cuts? What

[00:08:23] Casey McGuire Davidson: do you say? Death of a thousand cuts.

[00:08:25] Lori Massicot: Death of a thousand cuts. That's what it was. And it was very much, if I look at it now in hindsight, it was very apparent that I couldn't hold my alcohol for many years, but I really didn't start questioning it until I got into my forties because I was so in the mindset of this is what everybody does.

[00:08:43] Lori Massicot: This is what I will do for the rest of my life because

[00:08:47] Casey McGuire Davidson: I've been partying. I'm You, I've, my husband used, I'd be like, you knew what you were getting into. My best friend and I, who are both huge drinkers. Would tell my husband, love me, don't judge me. And that's [00:09:00] such a crap, wait, I'm drunk as a skunk with my two year old there.

[00:09:04] Casey McGuire Davidson: Love me. Don't judge me. I mean, it's just. He never said anything to me.

[00:09:10] Lori Massicot: That's an interesting thing for you. Yeah. I've never heard that before. Love me. Don't judge me. I totally cut you off. I'm sorry, but I wanted to hear what were you judging yourself? Is that where that came from?

[00:09:21] Casey McGuire Davidson: No, but like her husband and my husband would just be the like.

[00:09:27] Casey McGuire Davidson: Dads of us, like, looking at us like, seriously, y'all are, we would be idiots. We'd be like, Oh my God, we're going to buy a boat together. This is amazing. And the next day I'd be like, what did I say?

[00:09:43] Lori Massicot: Oh yeah. You just had so many dreams and so many solutions to life, right? I could solve any problem. Just give me a glass of wine, right?

[00:09:50] Lori Massicot: Everything's going to be okay. And then you wake up the next day and you don't remember most of it. And then you think, well, no, that's not going to work. That's like my wine fantasies, I call them, [00:10:00] like just fantasizing about life. And now I can honestly say I'm actually living it and it's better than the fantasy.

[00:10:06] Lori Massicot: That's what I will say.

[00:10:08] Casey McGuire Davidson: So my last day one, you did it yourself. My big change was I like put some money down and hired someone to keep me accountable because I couldn't do it myself. And then what was your first week like?

[00:10:23] Lori Massicot: I think going into the first week, I definitely just had that thought. I went back and forth with myself a lot.

[00:10:29] Lori Massicot: Casey was just like, you're doing it. You're not doing it. You're doing it. You're not doing it. This doesn't seem real because it is that imposter syndrome. I do not know how to be anybody else but the party girl because I really labeled myself that at 14, and that's how everybody knew me. And so it was just like, okay, yes, I'm going to do this.

[00:10:48] Lori Massicot: But at the same time, I'm not really believing in it. So it was very much let me keep busy because I'm like that. If there's something going on, I'm very good at avoiding it. Let me keep busy. Let me do my, I had a business at the time I was [00:11:00] working. I started going to the gym. That was like a new thing for me.

[00:11:04] Lori Massicot: And so I really did whatever I could to distract from the thought of you're not drinking anymore. And then when the weekend started to hit, that's when it became harder and harder. I would say by Thursday. I'm like, Oh my God, what am I going to do with my time all weekend? What are we going to do? That's what it was centered around.

[00:11:23] Lori Massicot: And so the first week was okay. I would say, I mean, it was just kind of like finding my bearings, but at the same time it was just like going back and forth. Did you really have a struggle every single day? Like you were craving wine?

[00:11:38] Casey McGuire Davidson: Yeah. I mean, the funny thing was, and we talked about this, I emailed my coach every day.

[00:11:46] Casey McGuire Davidson: So literally my emails are like day two, day three, day six, and I have all of those. Like I recorded my first hundred days of emails to my coach [00:12:00] on my podcast. So like, I can see what I was going through. Yes, I wanted to drink and everything that like came up felt like this huge hurdle that I needed to navigate around.

[00:12:13] Casey McGuire Davidson: I did what. You did in terms of, I was going to the gym, I had all the wine in my house, but I told my husband I wasn't going to drink, which he'd heard me say that a million times before. He didn't believe me, but I was like, I'm putting all this wine in our basement. I ended up getting rid of it within the first month, because I was like, dude, I'm going to drink it.

[00:12:36] Casey McGuire Davidson: But I was like, don't bring me home a bottle of wine, even if I ask you to buy me one, please don't. Like. I didn't tell him anything else. I just was like, I'm doing a no alcohol challenge. I want to, the usual, lose weight, get in shape, whatever, have more energy, sleep better. But I did tell everyone at work, [00:13:00] everyone in my morning workout class and all of my friends that I was doing this hundred day challenge because I was a daily drinker.

[00:13:07] Casey McGuire Davidson: There was no chance that people weren't going to notice. That I wasn't drinking, but at the same time, I didn't really go out my first month. I was terrified of going on a date with my husband or out to dinner, like deer in the headlights the minute they hand you a drink menu.

[00:13:26] Lori Massicot: Oh, totally. Yeah. I totally get that.

[00:13:29] Lori Massicot: And I seem to. Honestly, going back and looking at my journal when I was writing about it, I told my husband the day after he came home, him and my son came home and I stood there in the living room. I'll never forget it. I said, I have to stop drinking. And that was like one of his things, like, cause we drank a lot together.

[00:13:44] Lori Massicot: We met in a bar and he looked at me and he said, okay, well I don't have to drink either. And neither one of us, I don't think truly believed each other. But it was never like I'm before I took a couple of 30 day breaks. Let's save money. That was the big thing. Let's save money. I'm going to lose weight.

[00:13:59] Lori Massicot: I'm [00:14:00] going to all of these benefits that I was looking forward to this time. It was. Forever. I am never going to drink again. And so it was just like, and I had to constantly remind him, like you were saying, whatever it takes, whatever I say, don't buy any wine. We took everything out of the house. And yes, I pretty much went on lockdown, protecting myself and not really going out and doing a whole lot of anything.

[00:14:23] Lori Massicot: And everybody around me was on a need to know basis

[00:14:26] Casey McGuire Davidson: because I knew. That's so brave of you. I mean, it is very different. To say to your husband, I have to stop drinking rather than what I said, which was, Oh, I'm doing a hundred a health challenge. I mean, that's so vulnerable. And I didn't want to say that because I wasn't sure I'd succeed.

[00:14:47] Casey McGuire Davidson: I was never, I'd never succeeded before. And also I didn't want, I worked so hard. To not show my husband how worried I was about my drinking, [00:15:00] to play it off, to be defensive because I didn't want him like watching me. I didn't want him to think I had a problem because I didn't want him watching me. Which is crazy.

[00:15:12] Casey McGuire Davidson: I didn't notice when I was passed out on the couch and he couldn't wake me up to go up to bed. He knew.

[00:15:17] Lori Massicot: But. My husband knew too, but I totally get that. And that's why I didn't tell certain people outside of my house, my good friends, because I didn't want them checking on me. I didn't want them watching me.

[00:15:28] Lori Massicot: I didn't want them to worry about me. That's it. It's not that I approached it as I have this problem. I need to stop drinking. And then later on we realized how deep it had gotten. Yeah. And the, especially with my husband, because he's very much that, that cheerleader for me, he is always been that way and he's very supportive.

[00:15:48] Lori Massicot: But he was also a really big drinker and for both of us to set out on this new adventure. It was just like, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, we're never gonna do it. We're just never going to be able to do it. He

[00:15:59] Casey McGuire Davidson: stopped [00:16:00] completely with you? He has

[00:16:02] Lori Massicot: basically stopped, yeah. He goes, he's going this weekend actually, has a yearly fantasy football draft with all of his college football.

[00:16:08] Lori Massicot: Oh yeah, my husband does that too. It's all day long. It's all day long, he stays the night, they play college football together, and they go, and that's the only time I think pretty much is when he drinks, and he'll drink, and he'll come home Sunday, and he's not going to feel good, but he drinks and smokes cigars, and that's about it for him.

[00:16:25] Lori Massicot: But for a while, he didn't... Even do that. But yeah, I think that there is just, we get that accountability when we are able to be vulnerable and we share, but then also it's so scary because we don't want too much accountability. We don't, just in case, it said, just in case.

[00:16:40] Casey McGuire Davidson: Yeah. In case I want to do that slow shuffle back to drinking and be like, just kidding, nothing to see here.

[00:16:47] Casey McGuire Davidson: Just kidding. Yeah. That's what my coach did for me was stopping me from being able to do that in my mind.

[00:16:57] Lori Massicot: And that's why you coach today. Yeah. You're [00:17:00] there to support women daily because

[00:17:02] Casey McGuire Davidson: it's, I mean, I just found it so helpful to have someone to talk to who got it and who could tell me what was coming up and who could tell me what to do.

[00:17:12] Casey McGuire Davidson: And I'm actually like totally recovering people pleaser, but. That really helped me because I didn't want to let my coach down. I didn't want her to be disappointed. I mean, it's why group workouts are way better for me than individual workouts. But if you know your personality for me, I needed someone that I didn't want to disappoint that was not myself because I'd gotten in the habit of quitting on myself so much I could rationalize away anything.

[00:17:41] Casey McGuire Davidson: Yeah, I think

[00:17:42] Lori Massicot: it's just a good point to remember your personality. Yes. It's a, I think it's such an important point and I know I don't talk about it enough, but it is. We've got to go with how we feel and what we know is going to work for us just to begin with. And I knew for me it was not going to work telling anybody else about it and I [00:18:00] would figure it out later.

[00:18:01] Lori Massicot: What was the biggest, um, myth for you going into this or misconception?

[00:18:07] Casey McGuire Davidson: Going into not drinking. Yeah. That I would never have fun again and that I would spend literally the rest of my life feeling deprived and sad that I couldn't, quote unquote, couldn't drink. I thought I would be miserable for the rest of my life because I wasn't drinking and that is so far from the truth.

[00:18:31] Casey McGuire Davidson: I mean. I go to things all the time where people drink, I mean, litera my husband still drinks and I will at times look over at a lovely glass of red wine and be like, yep, I used to love that, that looks good, but it is in no way worth it to me, and that happened pretty quick once I stopped drinking, like within the first four months, I looked back and was like, can't believe I lived that way and thought it was okay, [00:19:00] just being so physically ill, you know.

[00:19:02] Casey McGuire Davidson: And worried and feeling shame and hoping nobody would know. I mean, it's a crappy way to live and not drinking. You get some perspective.

[00:19:16] Lori Massicot: You have to have it. You have to have a perspective because when we're drinking, we want to tell ourselves it's going to be boring. I'm not going to have any fun. I'm going to feel a certain way.

[00:19:25] Lori Massicot: I'm not going to sleep all of those things, but man, when you give yourself that perspective and in that first 30 days, it's really tough. What were some practical tools? I know. I love your practicality and I love your approach to this. What were

[00:19:38] Casey McGuire Davidson: some things? I would be happy to give you all my practical tools, but I'm curious what your biggest misconception was.

[00:19:46] Casey McGuire Davidson: Oh, yes,

[00:19:47] Lori Massicot: yes, yes. We're getting this co hosting thing down, Casey. My biggest con I'm going to agree with you. It was that I was very much, I'm never going to go to a concert again. I am never going to be able to take trips with my girlfriends again. I'm never going to be [00:20:00] able to really have fun and my life is going to be really sad.

[00:20:05] Casey McGuire Davidson: Yeah. Yeah. It was that. I bet so many people listening to this feel the exact same way. I mean, it's, we have been brainwashed and conditioned and convinced from our entire lives that drinking is required to have fun and at special occasions and helps us connect and helps us relax. And it's such bullshit.

[00:20:28] Casey McGuire Davidson: But when you're in it, you're just like, we're in it deep.

[00:20:32] Lori Massicot: We're in it so deep. And whenever I hear a gal say to me, well. I have a vacation coming up, and so I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it, or I have this event coming up, or a holiday, or whatever, it's because of our, how we've done things for such a long time in those associations, we all just feel like there's, you can't do it without drinking.

[00:20:52] Casey McGuire Davidson: Yeah. Yeah. So practically, Beth, should I tell you my practical tip? So telling my [00:21:00] husband and everyone that I was not drinking was big. Getting the wine out of my house. I didn't do it. I told him not to bring any home, but we had all these fancy bottles from a recent wine tasting trip and I was like, pretty quickly, like, Mike, you got to get them out of here.

[00:21:18] Casey McGuire Davidson: Um, hiring a sober coach, having someone to write every day. We mostly emailed at the time. Um, telling her exactly how I was feeling and getting her feedback. I stopped at the time I used to sit on the couch, drink and watch TV at night. So I would take, and I would rush putting my daughter to bed. I'd just be like, Oh my God.

[00:21:43] Casey McGuire Davidson: Will she fall asleep? So I started going up to her room and literally rocking her to sleep for an hour plus, I would just put in my earbuds, listen to a sober audio book or memoir, listen to a sober podcast and just rock her and [00:22:00] look at her little body and then I'd go to bed. I would go only to the grocery store on early mornings on Saturday or Sunday after I'd eaten.

[00:22:10] Casey McGuire Davidson: And I would put a sober podcast in my earbuds so I was listening to it so I wouldn't pick up wine. Those were my big ones. What about you?

[00:22:19] Lori Massicot: Definitely. My husband did the grocery shopping because that was something that I couldn't do. And he still to this day does most of the grocery shopping because I just don't like to do it.

[00:22:28] Lori Massicot: I do the list. But that was one of them definitely going to the gym that helped me greatly writing in my journal. And the number one thing that really helped me is that I was starting to really talk about it with my husband. And it was kind of changing that dynamic because for such a long time we did the drinking together and we would have so many conversations and that's one of my biggest things that I, I Can't really say, yeah, I, I regret, I missed out on being really present during those early days, especially, but being present in those conversations and [00:23:00] when I realized, gosh, we're actually talking, we're actually going out later and at night, we're not worried about driving or anything like that, like we're doing other things besides sitting on the couch and drinking.

[00:23:11] Lori Massicot: I realize how helpful that was for me to just have, start opening up a little bit more because yeah, I wasn't completely honest in the beginning, but it started to show a little bit more and more. But yeah, my journal was number one for me. Journal, journaling was very helpful. That is like the most

[00:23:26] Casey McGuire Davidson: practical thing.

[00:23:26] Casey McGuire Davidson: I think it's very helpful regardless of whether you email or post in groups or journal, process your thoughts and your feelings and what's going on. Um, That's incredibly helpful. And I think it's, I actually think it's interesting that we took two different tacks with our husband that you shared with him and I did not share with mine.

[00:23:50] Casey McGuire Davidson: He did not figure, so I quit in February. I did not tell him that I had hired a sober coach until our anniversary on September 15th. [00:24:00] It was. Months and months, and the only reason I did it, and I had gone, I also did hip sobriety at 60 days, that course with Holly Whitaker years and years ago when she was running it, and I would attend meetings twice a week, I was like, first of all, I was like, holy shit, he's super unobservant, which Makes sense that he didn't see how much I was drinking if he's not absorbing any of this, but also like he was a varsity baseball coach, so he was out till 30 every night.

[00:24:33] Casey McGuire Davidson: Most of my calls were like five to six or during the day. And he, and I emailed my coach from work cause that was my day and he had baseball games every Saturday. So in retrospect, it wasn't that weird that he had no clue all the support I was getting. But it also makes sense that other than the end of the night, he had no [00:25:00] clue how important it was to me.

[00:25:03] Casey McGuire Davidson: Yeah, I

[00:25:04] Lori Massicot: think that's cool though. I honestly do. I think that there's so many things that we can keep to ourselves. Even with our husbands or spouse or partner and work on it. Because like you had said, it's like he had heard that before you saying, I'm going to either take a break or I'm not going to drink anymore.

[00:25:19] Lori Massicot: People have heard that before. And so now it's, we have to do the work and show up for ourselves to start proving that we mean it, that this means something. And I feel like it's so important and something that we feel I've, I've felt like I should tell people that I'm doing this, but at the same time, I was so guarded by it because I didn't want their opinions.

[00:25:38] Lori Massicot: Yeah. And I didn't want them to watch me and see me if in case I didn't just in case. Um, but honestly, I think that's great the way you handled that because now you've got like months of getting that support and you're in a better place to where you could actually explain it to

[00:25:54] Casey McGuire Davidson: him and see how much better I was like 30 [00:26:00] days or so.

[00:26:01] Casey McGuire Davidson: I mean, what I did tell him was a hundred day challenge. So he knew exactly. Kind of what day I was on, like, whatever. I mean, I remember mentioning to my son, I'm like, Oh, I haven't had wine in three weeks. He was eight. Something came up and he was like, Oh, cool, mom. But he knew when I hit 30 days, he knew when I hit 50 days.

[00:26:24] Casey McGuire Davidson: But also I remember at 30 days being like, have you noticed anything? And I was worried he thought I was boring. And he was like, Yeah, our house just feels a lot more peaceful. It's less stressed, it's less chaotic, you seem much more calm. And I was like, yeah, I mean, I thought I was boring, but he was like, this is kind of nice.

[00:26:49] Casey McGuire Davidson: Like the, oh my God, this happened today at work, like revving myself up for a reason to drink and then feeling so ill in the morning that I was really [00:27:00] standoffish and quiet, you know? Yeah.

[00:27:03] Lori Massicot: Oh, gosh. Yeah. I think that the, like you had done the first hundred days, your first hundred days. I think that's a good mark to kind of reflect back on at this point, seeing that difference for you and where were your moods?

[00:27:15] Lori Massicot: Let's talk about like your moods from that period.

[00:27:19] Casey McGuire Davidson: Yeah. I mean, when I was drinking, I just felt so incredibly tired and so much anxiety and so much sadness. Like I felt. Insecure and deeply unhappy. With my work and I was guilty and paranoid and annoyed and resentful. And a constant thought was what is wrong with me?

[00:27:44] Casey McGuire Davidson: Pull your life together. And at a hundred days, I felt so much better. I was proud of myself, which was just this bubbling up of that. I felt contentment [00:28:00] and peace. And I mean, I was decently athletic before I stopped and I joined a morning bootcamp group because that really helped me go to bed early and get up and get my anxiety out.

[00:28:15] Casey McGuire Davidson: But I lost 25 pounds in my first 100 days and I ran a 10 K. So it was. I mean, there was no question that I was 40 pounds overweight. Like there was everybody around me was giving me positive reinforcement for, Oh my God, you ran a 10 K and. You look so healthy. And so right to the point where my boss, who had no idea that I'd been struggling with alcohol for eight years and quote unquote, like I hired a sober coach because I was like, shit, I have a pro I have a drinking problem.

[00:28:50] Casey McGuire Davidson: She was like, oh my God, I'm going to do 30 days without drinking too. You look so great. I was like laughing. Cause I was just like, if she [00:29:00] only knew, you know what I mean? Like how much went into this. Yeah, but that's so good

[00:29:06] Lori Massicot: that you were able to share that with other people because it's just seeing and feeling that difference and watching how your moods change.

[00:29:13] Lori Massicot: How was your sleep back then? First couple

[00:29:16] Casey McGuire Davidson: weeks were really rough. First two weeks. I mean, I was used to passing out and I was terrified of not sleeping because I was so tired and exhausted, right? Two little kids. How am I going to make it through the day? Um, felt like I couldn't cope with work. I, if I actually took a Benadryl each night for my first, I'm not a doctor.

[00:29:43] Casey McGuire Davidson: I'm not recommending it, but it was the only thing that like I knew knocked me out. And my doctor told me it was okay during pregnancy. So I was just like, dude, it can't be that much issue. That was what I thought. I took a Benadryl every night for my first week, just, it also helped [00:30:00] to just. Knock me unconscious and get me to the next day really quick when I was like not drinking.

[00:30:06] Casey McGuire Davidson: And then I had my first really good night's sleep on day 12. I remember I wrote my coach and was like, I slept through the night. After that, it was really good. Yeah.

[00:30:18] Lori Massicot: See, that's so cool. Yeah. I'll talk about that. That's so cool that you wrote that down. I'm going to refer everybody to your episode about that because your daily tracking, like I tracked in my journal.

[00:30:29] Lori Massicot: And so I know like my moods and like my sleep and stuff, but it wasn't like a daily thing. And so I love that you have that to reflect back on. And I know that's such a challenge for so many women who used alcohol or using alcohol to relax, of course, at night, that's a big one. And then also to fall asleep, but I definitely for my moods, I mean, I started to realize.

[00:30:52] Lori Massicot: Hey, you feel a lot happier, and I would write about it, and you're not so reactive, and I was pretty much lashing out back then. Got this nicest [00:31:00] husband in the world, he's so patient, it's just, I wanted to fight, I wasn't happy, and so after I stopped drinking, I started to realize, within that first 90 days especially, it's, things are changing, I wasn't accepting it fully yet, I was thinking more of, this is a fluke, this isn't going to last, I was very much fighting myself about this.

[00:31:18] Lori Massicot: have never been a great sleeper. But what I noticed after I stopped drinking that I didn't feel as tired the next day as I did when I was drinking. So even though my sleep was still not great, you know, I've always had that story. Like you just don't sleep well, not anymore. But back then I did. Um, and when you're not sleeping that well and you're not drinking, you actually can function the next day as opposed to when you're not sleeping and you are drinking because it is that after effect of alcohol.

[00:31:46] Lori Massicot: And so I did start to notice that and at 90 days, that's when my husband and I really sat down and had a conversation about, I think that's when it clicked for me. You can't go back, there's, the problem was real [00:32:00] and instead of looking at it, Oh my gosh, I have a problem, which is what I tried to avoid for so long, let's make alcohol work so I don't have to admit that to anybody, especially myself, is I started to accept the fact that this is a better life for me.

[00:32:13] Casey McGuire Davidson: Yeah. You know what I wrote on my hundred days, I posted it in a group I was in. I said, life actually feels somewhat manageable, busy, but not overwhelming. I don't feel so anxious about the future. I actually feel optimistic. This is my favorite thing. I haven't woken up hating or berating myself in a long time.

[00:32:37] Casey McGuire Davidson: I used to wake up and my first thought was, What the fuck is wrong with you? Get your shit together. That is a horrible way to go through daily life. I mean, just waking up, not hating myself. That's where you look back and you're like, how did I live that way? How did I think this was a reward and a treat and [00:33:00] the best part of my day?

[00:33:01] Casey McGuire Davidson: That it would have that impact. You said you would like fight with your husband, drink, like messes with your brain chemistry. It made me angry and pessimistic, which is so crazy because I'm actually like a super optimistic, happy, nice person, which just cracks

[00:33:20] Lori Massicot: me up. Well, we lose ourself with every sip we take, we're losing ourself.

[00:33:24] Lori Massicot: And over time, my goodness, you just can't even tell who you are anymore and what you're capable of because it's just that filter of alcohol is just drowning you out completely. And so I would look back at the first 90 days definitely and just look at those practical solutions that you can turn to for anybody who's listening, who is out there and who is at either the start of this or you're in that lifestyle right now, find those practical tools that you can use for yourself.

[00:33:49] Lori Massicot: And then also remind yourself that it does get better because I would say like just recapping what we've just talked about, give yourself that time. To work through it, find support, if that's what you [00:34:00] need to do, and honestly, it gets better and

[00:34:03] Casey McGuire Davidson: better as you go. Yeah. What's interesting, I think of alcohol as a magnet, and when you are close to it, when you're close to the last time you drank, the pull is really strong.

[00:34:15] Casey McGuire Davidson: And as you get more days. The poll get less and less. And so people will say to me, I'm a better mom. I'm nicer when I'm drinking. When I'm not drinking, I'm less patient and more irritated. I don't like life as much when I'm sober. And I was like, that's not sobriety. That is withdrawal and early sobriety that you've never allowed yourself to feel what it's like when your dopamine levels finally reset to what would be sort of your natural cruising level.

[00:34:51] Casey McGuire Davidson: Um, when you let that irritability and that withdrawal and those cravings of your first two, three weeks go [00:35:00] away. So for a lot of people, and this was me, I would try to stop drinking, get four days, maybe seven, maybe nine. And then I'd be like, I'm fucking miserable. Sobriety sucks. And that's not sobriety.

[00:35:15] Casey McGuire Davidson: That's. Early sobriety and withdrawal. Oh, it's

[00:35:19] Lori Massicot: such a good point. Such a good point. And I love the magnet reference because it's true. You got to allow yourself to get out of that field, that magnetic field and that pull because we got to get to the other side of it. So where you can start making more sense.

[00:35:33] Lori Massicot: Definitely. What challenges were you facing? Let's say at the six month mark, let's talk about socializing, Casey, were you

[00:35:41] Casey McGuire Davidson: social? I was, I mean, I'm a pretty social person. So the first time that I went out with, my husband got promoted and his best friend and wife. Wanted us all to go out to a really nice dinner.

[00:35:58] Casey McGuire Davidson: That was like my first [00:36:00] social occasion. And I remember talking to my coach and I was like, I am terrified. What am I going to say? What are they going to think of me? Which looking back, that's crazy. I was on a health kick. I was getting super happier and healthier and having more energy. And if I had told anyone that I was like, Running a 10 K and, or like people talk about doing Peloton all the time or whatever, they'd be like, Oh, good for you.

[00:36:28] Casey McGuire Davidson: I had to think in advance, what am I going to tell them? What am I going to order? How am I going to get through that? A couple of times in early sobriety, I mean, I'm talking like my first hundred days, my husband would like, I was, I had to really think through date nights. Like I was like, okay, what can we do?

[00:36:48] Casey McGuire Davidson: Cause we used to always. Go out to dinner and drink or go bar hopping a drink or go to a concert and drink like you name it. And so I was like, okay, we can go to a movie and a bookstore and go to sushi [00:37:00] because I never like sake and sushi as crap, red wine or okay, we can go to a park in the afternoon, bring books and people watch and he'll bring his beer and I'll bring my.

[00:37:13] Casey McGuire Davidson: All Bev's, but my biggest challenge and we can talk about this after we talk about your social interactions was I actually went to Venice and Croatia at 110 days. And with my mother, with my sister, Italy, I was the biggest red wine girl. I had drunk my way through Italy before. And that was very hard and a big challenge and making it through that was just like, all right, this is awesome.

[00:37:46] Casey McGuire Davidson: Yeah,

[00:37:46] Lori Massicot: we've got to talk about the milestones of that as well. I definitely, those challenges being social at that point, like my son was 12. And so we had things going on with him and activities and things where you'd be around other people, but [00:38:00] those people didn't necessarily know me as a drinker. So the people that did, I took my first wine tasting trip.

[00:38:06] Lori Massicot: Uh, let's see, August, yes, yes, I quit drinking in August, because my sister turned 50. And that is, that was our favorite thing to do together. She turned 50 and Casey, I was the designated driver for the first time in my life, except when I was pregnant. And I took her and her best friend, who I've known since I was a kid, and we went wine tasting and I was so miserable that day.

[00:38:29] Lori Massicot: I remember just sitting there thinking, because not only that, but I was getting from my sister, are you okay? And you're not going to drink anything, even though I had already told her I wasn't going to drink anything. And when I got home that night, I just burst into tears and I'll never forget it because I sat there the entire day.

[00:38:44] Lori Massicot: I could not wait to get out of there. And boy, the next day I woke up and I didn't regret not drinking. That is for sure. Yeah. Um, I told myself though, that. Was not a good choice, but it's not something that you could have gotten out of. And so now we go [00:39:00] into full protection. You're not doing that again.

[00:39:02] Lori Massicot: And so the next time I really was around other people socially, we took a trip up to San Francisco the week of New Year's. And so that would have been the end of 2013. So I had a little bit more sea legs and I was with one of my very best friends I've known since I was five and we were there and she knew I wasn't drinking and it was lovely.

[00:39:20] Lori Massicot: And I remember coming home from that trip. At the beginning of the year thinking, I just did that. Yeah. I've never done that in my entire life. I was shocked. I was so proud of myself. That was something that was new to me. And so I believe that when we're looking at these challenges, there are so many opportunities, especially with socializing, because yeah, you've got to find your people.

[00:39:45] Lori Massicot: If somebody doesn't, like you said, if somebody doesn't respect your choice not to drink and you're on a health kick and you're doing something that's really positive for yourself, they're going to have a problem with it. That's when I feel like we have to really start reevaluating some of our relationships.

[00:39:58] Casey McGuire Davidson: I feel like if [00:40:00] someone gives you drinking so ingrained and people are so used to being like, why did you have a problem? Or come on, just have one or don't make me drink alone. In my mind, what helps me now is to equate it. Like you've decided to become a vegetarian. It is a health and lifestyle choice.

[00:40:20] Casey McGuire Davidson: That you are making if you told them, Oh, actually I'm a vegetarian. I know I wasn't two weeks ago, but now I am. I made this decision. If someone was like, Oh my God, just have a bite of burger. That's so lame. You're going to make me eat this on my own. Of course they wouldn't do that. You would be an asshole if you did that.

[00:40:40] Casey McGuire Davidson: And like, now I'm like, why do people give a shit? What's in your drink? You have a mojito. I have a non alcoholic mojito. Why does it matter to you whether or not I ingest alcohol? It's

[00:40:53] Lori Massicot: so interesting. There's so many enablers, but then also what you said, I don't want to drink alone. I was that person.

[00:40:59] Casey McGuire Davidson: Yeah, me too.[00:41:00]

[00:41:00] Casey McGuire Davidson: I mean, I was, I don't want to drink alone. Come on,

[00:41:03] Lori Massicot: let's come and

[00:41:04] Casey McGuire Davidson: drink. I get it. But I'm like, yep, I was that asshole, but I'm also like. Yeah, I clearly had an issue with alcohol. So when people did that to me, I was like, you got your own shit going on with alcohol.

[00:41:16] Lori Massicot: Did you find that people did that to you more than they didn't or vice versa?

[00:41:21] Casey McGuire Davidson: No. Which is amazing because I don't think I got. Almost any of that people would joke with me, like, Oh, when it's your hundred dates over, we're going to go to this wine bar. Like my work team, they were like, Oh, you're not going to the bar. No one told me just have one because I was so clear about my hundred day goal.

[00:41:43] Casey McGuire Davidson: So they were more like, what day is it again? I was lucky with my friends in that even my huge drinking friends. Respected it, like they were just like, oh, good for you. They were waiting for it to be over, but they weren't pushing me to [00:42:00] drink during it and by the time I got close to a hundred days.

[00:42:05] Casey McGuire Davidson: Everybody had kind of gotten used to me not drinking and they'd been able to see, including my husband, that I was happier and I was better, but also that our friendship and our relationship didn't really change. So all I said was like 10 days before, so they wouldn't be like buying me a drink on the day of.

[00:42:24] Casey McGuire Davidson: I just kind of was like, Oh my gosh, I feel so much better. I'm going to see what six months alcohol free feels like. That was my line. And then it's six months. I pushed it to a year and once I got to a year, I was like, I think I'm done. I'm done drinking.

[00:42:40] Lori Massicot: Yeah. I was curious about that. So you did the hundred days.

[00:42:44] Lori Massicot: So on day 101, you said, okay, I'm going to go to six months. Yeah. I

[00:42:47] Casey McGuire Davidson: said it on like day 90 so that people wouldn't be like, all right, drink in time. And my husband was shocked. My husband was shocked that I was going to keep going because we were going to Italy and he was like, [00:43:00] you're not going to drink in Italy.

[00:43:03] Casey McGuire Davidson: When we drank together on a lot of vacations where he would get a craft of white and I would get a craft of red at two in the afternoon and we would get super drunk, go back to the hotel and then pass out and then get up for a nine o'clock dinner and it was really fun. And so I was just like, no, and in the back of my head.

[00:43:26] Casey McGuire Davidson: I knew how hard it was to stop drinking. I knew what it did to my mental health and I knew that I can look back on almost every pick life and know if I was drinking or drunk or not drinking in that image. And I was like. If I drink on this trip, I will always look back on this epic vacation and regret it.

[00:43:48] Casey McGuire Davidson: Oh,

[00:43:48] Lori Massicot: yeah. I could see that movie reel playing right now. Every time, all the pictures that I have with alcohol in my hand, all the moments that I've had that I regret over time. It's, my goodness, I think one of the best [00:44:00] gifts that I've given myself, and it sounds like you've given yourself as well, is vacationing without drinking, honestly.

[00:44:06] Lori Massicot: I love it. It's a different movie. We've actually moved on to a different movie. So, I'm just curious, before we move on, I'm curious, when you're telling people, like, okay, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna do another six months, I'm feeling really good, is that what you were telling yourself as well, or were you in your heart of hearts saying, this is it, I know that I'm not gonna drink?

[00:44:25] Casey McGuire Davidson: I knew that I needed to not drink again. Even today, I don't spend A lot of time thinking about forever. I mean, I have zero intention of ever drinking again, but being like, I don't want to sit around and spend that. So I needed those smaller goals. Which sounds like it's very different than what you did.

[00:44:50] Casey McGuire Davidson: I had no intention of drinking before I got to a hundred days. I knew I wanted to keep going, but I also was like, Oh, I [00:45:00] hit four months. I hit five months. I hit six months. Like I couldn't sit around because otherwise I would look at a bottle of wine and be like, I am never going to have that again and just that longing.

[00:45:13] Casey McGuire Davidson: So I was like, Nope, I'm hitting six months between now and then I'm really excited to do X, Y, Z, just like a horse with blinders on.

[00:45:24] Lori Massicot: I like that. I could have used that approach. Definitely. Yeah. The forever thinking kind of messed me up for sure. Definitely. But you know what? I just kept reminding myself of the reason why I was doing it.

[00:45:34] Lori Massicot: And then also I want to talk about motivation because at six months we're at that peak, right? Getting that motivation to keep going and one of the most motivating things for me is kind of something you've already mentioned was I don't want to go back to where I was because it was so hard. That was it.

[00:45:51] Casey McGuire Davidson: That was it. Yeah. I mean, writing myself that letter, I compared day one to day [00:46:00] 100. It's something I encourage everyone to do. And just seeing the drastic mental health shift. I mean, the physical shift was incredible too, but just. I hate my life. I can't cope. I'm angry, I'm resentful, I'm fearful, I don't want anyone to look at me if they only knew, I mean, I would stand at the bus stop with my second grader just thinking that if any of the parents knew how much I drank the night before, they wouldn't want their kids to hang out with my kid, which I was never unsafe with my kid.

[00:46:37] Casey McGuire Davidson: I would say that was because my husband was constantly there. You know what I mean? But no judgment, because I did a million things that I'm not proud of, but I do feel like I was safe with my children. But I also felt that if anyone knew how much I drank, that would be bad. And at a hundred days when I was like, proud of [00:47:00] myself and happy with my life and felt optimistic about the future and felt gratitude, I was like, just having that comparison, I was like, that's motivation enough.

[00:47:14] Casey McGuire Davidson: This substance not only did me no favors, but made me an unhappy person who was physically and mentally going down quickly.

[00:47:27] Lori Massicot: Yeah, I agree. I think that's where we can find that motivation because I've been asked that several times. How do you stay motivated? And for me, it's just that vision of going back, how hard it would be, and then looking at all of the benefits and the perks that we have in that first six months.

[00:47:41] Lori Massicot: Because I know for me at that time, that's when I was really starting to see a difference. I was seeing a difference in my body composition because I was lifting weights for the first time. Probably ever in my adult life, I was really changing things up. I was very interested in exercise and nutrition that became my little side hobby.

[00:47:59] Lori Massicot: I had more [00:48:00] time and energy to do that kind of stuff. And I was really playing around with going into that first year with, what am I going to do when I hit that first year? So like from six months to 12 months. That's when I felt that shift more and I knew in my heart, I knew in my mind that I wasn't going to go back no matter what that milestone meant to me.

[00:48:21] Lori Massicot: It wasn't like I'm going to hit the year, I'm going to go into this year and I'm really going to document even more about how I'm feeling. And the challenges that I was facing at the time was just kind of still going back and forth with, is this the right choice? Am I in it? But then at the same time I was like, yes, you are.

[00:48:37] Lori Massicot: So keep going. It was just a very day to day process. Yeah. What other challenges were you faced with, like, at that six month period going

[00:48:45] Casey McGuire Davidson: into a year? Yeah. One of the things that actually really surprised me is that I was about, gosh, nine or ten months sober my [00:49:00] first holiday season, my first Christmas, and I thought I had this, right?

[00:49:05] Casey McGuire Davidson: I was an old timer in my mind. My mom came to stay with us, like she does, and my husband got gifted wine and I said, yes, I didn't want to be, I didn't want to ruin their holiday. It was on the table and I was just so pissed at them. I was so pissed that they were like pouring it so slowly that it was in front of me.

[00:49:34] Casey McGuire Davidson: Honestly, I could not believe how slowly they drank it. I was almost going to ring their necks, right? Like they would go play a game and do a puzzle and they still hadn't finished the damn bottle of wine. I could, and so I went upstairs to put my daughter to bed, cuddled. Her, and I was texting my sober bestie and I was like, I'm going to effing kill them if it's not finished by the time I came down [00:50:00] and it still wasn't finished.

[00:50:01] Casey McGuire Davidson: So I grabbed the bottle, poured it in both of their glasses and was like, I'm going to bed and the next night I was just like, like you with the wine tasting. I was like, never again. No. And so the next night my mom was like, Oh, let's get another bottle of wine. I was like, Nope, we're done. Not have, I mean, she knew I was sober.

[00:50:22] Casey McGuire Davidson: I was like, nope. And then the other thing that really had me in tears was I was driving home from my friend's house, Christmas Eve. And my son was asking me, Oh, do you feel like you've been good mom this year? And I was in the front seat and I was very clearly in my mind talking about my sobriety. And I said, Hank, I do feel like I've made a lot of really good changes this year, and I'm really proud of myself.

[00:50:49] Casey McGuire Davidson: And it wasn't easy. And my mom pipes up from the back seat and says, well, I wouldn't give yourself too much credit. And it [00:51:00] was just dead silent. Like I was just like. What the fuck I'm talking to my son about? It was just so hurtful to me and honestly weird. And so it was like these, the longest five seconds of my life.

[00:51:16] Casey McGuire Davidson: And then my husband's actually, I think Casey should give herself credit. I think she did something, she was great this year. And I'm, she's done some really healthy things. And I went up to my room after we got home and just cried and you don't realize all the emotions and all the things that come up, right?

[00:51:37] Casey McGuire Davidson: What about you?

[00:51:39] Lori Massicot: Yeah, just, we haven't even touched on the emotions. This could be a two parter episode. Honestly, we haven't even touched on the emotions, KC. The emotions were so all over the place, but definitely, it's, it, just, feeling like, I am so angry. I'm so angry, even at other people, just like watching them on TV, or seeing them out, being able to drink.

[00:51:59] Lori Massicot: I had that [00:52:00] anger, and I had that, Fear around that first holiday, which was Thanksgiving, my biggest drinking holiday. And I totally did something different. We went to a movie, we went out to dinner, like we didn't do the whole traditional thing. Cause I couldn't take it that year. And it was only three months in, I think, but just feeling that pride for yourself.

[00:52:17] Lori Massicot: And sometimes that's the thing we have to acknowledge it for ourselves because other people, and especially if they're not drinkers, they don't know how hard this is. Doing this work. That is why I say all the time, you got to celebrate yourself and your achievements. And man, I just felt that in my heart because it was just coming.

[00:52:35] Lori Massicot: Well, I don't know where it was coming from, but you know, I just feel like that's coming from hearing something like that is coming from somebody who doesn't really understand the effort that goes into it and how fucking hard it is because it is so hard. And every challenge we face, I feel like we reach that milestone and we can celebrate ourselves and we're building up that muscle.

[00:52:55] Lori Massicot: To keep going and to really get to those other milestones in our lives. But every single day, and [00:53:00] I think even on the harder days, the most challenging days, that's when that build it, that muscle, it's like more reps, it's just getting built, stronger, how

[00:53:07] Casey McGuire Davidson: to drink her. And I still can't imagine why she would interrupt when I was talking to my eight year old about being proud of myself, neither here nor there, but she didn't get it and she didn't know.

[00:53:18] Casey McGuire Davidson: And I could have told her, but I didn't want to. And so. So now I don't feel that way at all. You definitely get less sensitive and more perspective as you go along. But I think that whole first year and anytime you're doing something for the first time at anything that's supposed to be extra special, that is the first time you're not drinking, just handle yourself with kid gloves because you are kind of emotionally fragile.

[00:53:49] Casey McGuire Davidson: And more, even if you don't expect to be definitely,

[00:53:55] Lori Massicot: and again, there's so much more we can talk about. And I know that we're running out of time, but honestly, and just like [00:54:00] recapping just this last year and what we've talked about, be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself. Self compassion goes a long way at this time.

[00:54:08] Lori Massicot: The challenges that you face can become great opportunities to find freedom from everything in life. Right. Feeling our feelings is okay. It's okay to be angry about this. It's okay to say that it sucks and it's doing, and it's okay not to drink because of those things, honestly. How did you celebrate your first year?

[00:54:26] Casey McGuire Davidson: What did you do for yourself? I was so lucky. So She Recovers was having a Seattle gathering, a yoga event, literally on the day of my one year. And so I was going to Mexico with my family. I actually pushed it back a day so I could go to this. And I was surrounded by other women who got it. It was just a beautiful thing.

[00:54:51] Casey McGuire Davidson: I told everyone it was my one year. I met really inspiring people. So I could not have had a [00:55:00] better moment or surroundings for my one year. And I know I'm incredibly lucky, but it just, I was on such a high. That is so

[00:55:08] Lori Massicot: cool. That is so cool. I wish I know. Well, there wasn't that. She Recovers didn't exist back when I was 10 years.

[00:55:15] Casey McGuire Davidson: My one year. I mean, I'm so impressed. Oh, thank

[00:55:18] Lori Massicot: you. I went to a concert, my favorite band, The Counting Crows, who I'm going to see this Sunday as well. Oh, I love The Counting Crows! I see them whenever they're around, Casey, and have been for years. We went to a concert, they were playing at Del Mar Fair, and not the fair, they were playing after the Del Mar races in San Diego here.

[00:55:35] Lori Massicot: We went and I got a beer spilled on me by a girl who was very drunk. And I just remember thinking, I'm so grateful that I'm not doing that anymore, but it was such a weird experience, but I remembered every second of it. I didn't have to have Bill, my husband telling me the next day. What do you remember this?

[00:55:50] Lori Massicot: Do you remember that? And me sitting there going, Nope, I don't remember any of it. I remembered all of it and I soaked it up and I went into year two with this. What is next attitude? [00:56:00] What do you think? What was your mindset going into year two? Going into

[00:56:05] Casey McGuire Davidson: year two, honestly, like I just focused on joy. That was just, I got little kittens as soon as I got back from, from that Mexico trip.

[00:56:17] Casey McGuire Davidson: So right after my one year and their two brothers and little Siberian tabbies and they were 12 weeks old and honestly, like I was just so fucking happy and your happiness was such. A different experience than where I had felt the year before. I mean, I just felt confident and happy. And I also, in year two, I just wanted not drinking to, I mean, I'm a sober coach now.

[00:56:46] Casey McGuire Davidson: I have a podcast like you. I coach drinking. Not drinking is a big part of my life. But in year two and year three, I just wanted it to be something about me that didn't define me in the same way that like, [00:57:00] I'm a mom, I work in marketing, I live in Seattle, and I quit drinking. Like, that, I just wanted it to be one of the things about me that was important, but wasn't like, Oh my God, I'm sober from addiction.

[00:57:15] Casey McGuire Davidson: That's not how I wanted to live my life. And that's what I did year two, and it was pretty great. Ah, that's so

[00:57:22] Lori Massicot: awesome. I think that the benefits that you just mentioned, definitely going out of year one into year two, just the happiness, the confidence. Getting ourselves to a place where we can manage life without alcohol.

[00:57:33] Lori Massicot: That is the biggest benefit for me. Can you leave us with some final words of anybody out there who is considering this or his, and let's say the 90 day mark or the six month mark or in that first week, what would you say to this

[00:57:47] Casey McGuire Davidson: person? Well, I would say it is hard and it is completely worth it. And really the hardest part is your first three weeks.

[00:57:58] Casey McGuire Davidson: Maybe your first [00:58:00] 30 days after that, your sleep is better, your anxiety is down. You're, you're happier, just your baseline because of your hormones and what it does. And after you get out of that initial withdrawal, then it's less a physical craving and more an emotional and habit and behavior change approach, which does not mean it's easy.

[00:58:27] Casey McGuire Davidson: But you are going to be feeling so much better. So in your first hundred days, I would say, stick it out. You're feeling better. And yet it's still hard. And people are like at two, three months and are like, Oh my God, I still think about it. I still want it. And I'm like, of course you do. You've been a drinker for 20 years and you've been sober for three months.

[00:58:51] Casey McGuire Davidson: Like. That it's like you're driving on this grassy path and you're used to like that automatic [00:59:00] paved road. And as you go on the grassy path more and more, it's going to become more worn and more open and more natural, but stick it out because you know what your life is like when you're drinking, like you deserve to know what your life would be like if you worked.

[00:59:21] Casey McGuire Davidson: That's

[00:59:21] Lori Massicot: so good. I love that analogy as well. Yeah, we've got to get that different view. And everybody out there who's listening to this, you're, you're worthy of that. You deserve that. And it takes time and patience and honestly get connected and find Casey. If you haven't already found her, cause I'm sure that a lot of people who listen at two 50 and beyond know about Casey already.

[00:59:40] Lori Massicot: And I thank you for being back for the third time. I'm going to have everything linked down below. What do you want to direct the listener to

[00:59:46] Casey McGuire Davidson: today? Yeah, I mean, I, on my website, HelloSundayCoaching, I've got a completely free guide, 30 tips for your first 30 days. So if you're just getting started, that's great.

[00:59:59] Casey McGuire Davidson: [01:00:00] And if you want to hear my diary of my first hundred days, I'll call free. I'll give Lori the links to those three podcasts. It's literally every email I sent my coach. So. If you're in those first hundred days, you might resonate with some of it. That's

[01:00:17] Lori Massicot: so cool. That is so cool. I'm so proud of you and thank you so

[01:00:20] Casey McGuire Davidson: much for being here.

[01:00:20] Casey McGuire Davidson: I'm so proud of you and I'm so glad we're friends and I love it. I know. Uh, awesome. Thank you.