[00:00:00] Lori Massicot: Hey there, it's Lori. I'm so happy that you are here today.

[00:00:03] If you're new to To 50 and beyond, welcome my new friend. And if you're returning back to the podcast, thanks so much for coming back. I'm the midlife sobriety coach and founder of team alcohol free and online self improvement community for women 35 and over, because we. Rock inside TAF, you will find weekly meetings, workshops, resources, and I believe the number one tool that all of us need in living alcohol free, a community of women who really get you and understand you and have your back to learn more about.

[00:00:35] Team alcohol free and learn more about my coaching. You can visit lorimassicot. com or the link is always in the show notes. If you'd like to get started today, today's episode is part of a six week podcast series, the essential series, your guide to living alcohol free and midlife and beyond. You don't have to go back to the beginning of this series, but I will be talking about a few things that I've already mentioned.

[00:00:58] You'll find the link to the Essentials series [00:01:00] also in the show notes. Today we are discussing creating a daily plan to help you stay alcohol free. What comes first, an alcohol free lifestyle or a plan that actually supports you in staying alcohol free?

[00:01:14] It's got to be the plan. We all need a plan. You deserve to make the time to create a plan that works for you. Planning your day to stay alcohol free is one of the most essential habits to create, and this will help you actually enjoy yourself.

[00:01:28] Not be focused all day long on, I'm not drinking, I'm not drinking, I'm not drinking, but actually have a support system within yourself and a plan so you know you can ease your mind and focus on life. That is The mission here today. In this episode, I will break down three daily check ins that are essential to help you stay focused on Plan A, which I've mentioned before, Plan A is all in on an alcohol free lifestyle.

[00:01:52] Life is happening, and we do get busy. I know you're busy. And sometimes your best intentions was you made the choice to stop drinking. [00:02:00] Plan A, fly out the window if you are not. Consistently checking in with yourself. It is essential to have structure in your day to help you stay alcohol free. And having structure simply means having a daily plan that helps you know what you are going to focus on.

[00:02:15] And this plan, let's call it a plan. A daily plan consists of a genuine curiosity and concern about yourself and how you feel. The daily plan includes self care, self compassion, and something we all need more of with ourselves is flexibility. Your daily plan is not about perfection, it's about consistency.

[00:02:37] And that's when we create better habits. And it's about supporting that choice, your Y power, to be alcohol free, without stressing you out or making you feel worse about yourself, because you're not checking off. A long to do list of things that you think you should be doing. Really? You're not really sure the plan I'm talking to you about today.

[00:02:56] Isn't it about a morning or evening routine? It's an all day [00:03:00] routine. It consists of the three check ins your morning know before you go. Check in. This will start your day off with a clean slate. And then you have your midday friendly reminder check in where you just check in with yourself and think, what am I doing?

[00:03:15] How am I feeling? And this will help you plan for your evening. And your evening check in is review and reflect. Each check in will take less than 10 minutes, but I encourage you to take as much time as you need, especially if you are not used to planning your day, there's no rush here. Supplies that are essential in planning.

[00:03:35] I would suggest a planner or definitely a journal something that has a daily planning section so you can write down your daily intentions, which I'll walk you through right now. If you really want to up level your sobriety game, I am going to link. My friend, Noelle Vandlerbergen's day by day book in the episode's description because Noelle has put together such a great journal and [00:04:00] it lays out everything for a daily check in and I highly recommend it.

[00:04:04] Noelle's been on the podcast twice, it's an excellent resource for anyone who wants to stay on top of their alcohol free lifestyle without... Thinking about it too much because she breaks it down really simply.

[00:04:15] And can we create a daily plan that is simple? Absolutely. You absolutely can. But again, if you're not used to doing this, it's going to be a little bit tricky in the beginning. That's okay. You've had tricky stuff in your life happen before. You can work through this. I am a work in progress and letting myself.

[00:04:32] Create a simple plan for myself. I tend to want to do more, but what I'm learning as I've gotten a little bit older is that less is more and I'm really learning how to be more intentional with my time and follow my energy, which I'm going to talk a little bit about today. And I've come a long way since I stopped drinking.

[00:04:52] When I first quit drinking, I had no plan. I decided to go all in to living alcohol free, like I've talked about. And that night, [00:05:00] August 11th, 2013, I was home alone. And I will recap my story on that evening. Nothing happened. There was no rock bottom. I was home alone. My husband and son were camping and I decided that night there was like this voice I was hearing like, Lori, you've had enough alcohol to last you two lifetimes, at least, and I got up and I poured my wine down the sink and I said, That's it.

[00:05:23] I had been contemplating this for two years. I've been wearing myself out for two years. I'm so done. And so I poured those bottles down the sink. And the next day I woke up and I thought, what am I going to do now? It sounded better last night.

[00:05:38] Because I was already halfway into the first bottle but I woke up the next day and like, what now? What in the heck are you going to do now? And even though I wasn't drinking daily at that point, the day seemed long and daunting. And even though the day after I decided to stop drinking at that point, I hadn't told anyone because, yeah, my husband and son were gone.

[00:05:59] I [00:06:00] hadn't mentioned it to anybody. Nobody knew this decision that I had made. And I had a nod in my stomach just full of fear of like, what did I do? And I realize now how much I was holding myself accountable to that commitment I made to myself the night before. There was no going back. At that point, because I was so tired of it.

[00:06:20] And for the first two years of my sobriety, I did things to help me work through my cravings and my urges to drink, like I've talked about, but I didn't have a focus for myself each day. I didn't have something that said, you know, if you are met with that, Creating what exactly is your plan, like writing it down, saying it out loud, just putting it out there into the world.

[00:06:39] Like, I didn't have that. I wasn't doing that for myself. I was getting up. I was making sure my son was up and ready for the day and I was going to work. I was doing that on repeat. As I mentioned in transitioning to an alcohol free lifestyle, which is episode 2 54. What it does and doesn't take to be alcohol free.

[00:06:58] It doesn't [00:07:00] take the same routine you had while drinking. It's time to shake things up and do the opposite of what you were doing. And so if the opposite of what you were doing. I was getting up and going through your day like we all do. We take care of our responsibilities.

[00:07:14] We take care of other people. We want to please others. We want to do our jobs. We want to be responsible. And sometimes for a lot of women that I have worked with over the years. We're not anywhere on the list. You're just not there. And I don't think I was there for a really long time. In 2015, I read the book, the miracle morning by Hal Elrod, and that really changed my morning routine completely because I started to realize I was really willy nilly ing my days. I was getting up, like I said, going through the motions, not creating any plan or goals. And now I know, you know, eight years later, that structure helps me stay sober. And it actually helps me enjoy myself and have fun because I do love a good planning session.

[00:07:59] [00:08:00] Why does having a daily plan matter? When you hear the term doing the work, And I'm using my air quotes. You've got to do the work to sustain your alcohol free lifestyle. I've been asked about the work so many times. What do I do to do the work? What's the work? The work it takes to sustain sobriety starts with you, how you spend your time taking care of yourself and offering yourself space and quiet.

[00:08:27] And patience, like I've talked about, setting down to create a plan. So, you know, your intention for the day, you know, your obstacles for the day and your plan that you will create that is creating that structure will help you stay on track. That is that support system within yourself versus a willy nilly plan where you have no idea what you'll do during a craving, you're going to wing it or how you will manage your energy throughout the day, which can definitely lead you back to drinking.

[00:08:54] So the planning. Bottom line is part of the work I like the word [00:09:00] structure because by definition it means to give organization to something really complex.

[00:09:04] And let's face it, when you're going into this Living Alcohol Free, it consists of parts. And in the beginning, it may seem really Complicated. Like what do I focus on? What don't I focus on? And so that's why creating that plan and doing the work to create the plan because I do feel like it's work like sitting down.

[00:09:23] I'm going to ask you to sit down for at least 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes midday, 10 minutes in the evening that takes work. That is you building that habit by doing it consistently, but it does take work. And so To keep this really as simple as possible, this plan will help you. So it doesn't seem like, oh my gosh, there's too many moving parts to this.

[00:09:45] Bottom line, your daily plan matters, because it helps protect The asset. You are the number one asset, and your reason why you don't want to drink alcohol is number two. So planning will protect those assets for you. [00:10:00] Let's get into the how tos, how the plan works. I'm going to lay the plan out inside the show notes, but if you want to take notes while I'm talking, go for it.

[00:10:09] Take what you want and leave the rest. At the end of this, I'm going to recap really simply the essentials to all of this. But I feel like... You're going to be okay. It may seem a little bit overwhelming at first, but I'm going to do my best to break it down as simply as possible. Keep in mind the purpose of this plan is to help you stay alcohol free.

[00:10:31] So inside we have daily check ins. These are the three. And I'm going to encourage you to set a time for these check ins because only you know when it's a good time of day for you. For example, a morning planning session. Again, 10 minutes. It could be scheduled for 6 a. m. If that's a good time for you.

[00:10:51] Maybe you wake up at 530 and maybe 6 a. m. By that time you are, you know, refreshed, you brush your teeth, you got your [00:11:00] coffee or your tea, and you want to sit down and check in with yourself. And then midday could be around noon, evening, maybe 6. Do what works best for you. But I want to make sure you're scheduling this.

[00:11:12] Putting yourself on the calendar so you practice that consistency and you get used to creating this habit of a daily planning session. Your first check in will be your evening check in and this is Reflect and Review. It consists of five things that I want you to check in with. I put the evening check in first because your evening is prep work for the next day. It's crucial for you to check in with yourself each evening to make sure that you're going to wake up the way that you want to wake up the next day, feeling refreshed.

[00:11:42] No regrets, you didn't drink the night before, you're ready to start your day. So, the five things that I want you to check in with each evening. Number one, ask yourself, how do you feel? Let yourself answer this question as best as you can. For example, at the end of the day, I normally [00:12:00] feel tired and hungry, which makes me...

[00:12:02] Grouchy. And back in the day, that was definitely one of the things that made me want to drink. It was a motivation to drink. This is not time to suck up your feelings. When you suck up your feelings, they fester and festering feelings are why most of us drink, let your feelings out. So you can get to know more about yourself.

[00:12:21] When you listen back to how you feel, you can then ask yourself the number two. Question, what do I need to do to stay alcohol free tonight? This is your time to pause and pivot and practice self care. Do you need to eat? Go with how you feel. If you're hungry, do you need to eat? Or if you're feeling that stress and you're feeling that end of day anxiety, what helps you in that moment?

[00:12:43] Because this is where it gets fun. You have to find the things that help you. I could suggest a 10 minute walk outside. That always helps me or popping in my earbuds and Dancing to Freedom by George Michael. That helps me. For some of us, breathing helps. [00:13:00] Meditation helps. That doesn't help me. So look at the activities that really help you work through cravings and urges, and get curious and allow yourself at least 10 minutes to pause and pivot.

[00:13:11] Find those activities that help you work through a craving to drink while you're pausing, do something else, Do the opposite and remind yourself that, Hey, you know, this is really going to help me, especially if I'm in that moment of an urge or a craving. And then for the rest of the evening, what am I going to do for myself?

[00:13:29] Maybe I'll call it a night earlier. Maybe I'll take a shower or a bath, or maybe I'll call a friend. Number three, reflect on your why power. Bring that reason why you want to stay alcohol free tonight and why it matters to you more than a drink. Write it out or say it out loud. This reason matters tonight and tomorrow morning.

[00:13:50] Number four, review your day by celebrating your wins, practicing gratitude for the day, and identifying any challenges you faced. This is a [00:14:00] great time to review how you dealt with drinking thoughts or stress at work. This is your documentation that you could do hard things without drinking. So write it out.

[00:14:08] Review those wins. Congratulate yourself on, Hey, you know what? I had a really tough conversation with my boss today. And instead of responding like I normally do, I listened. And I paused, and I was really kind to myself afterwards. Document your day. It's so important to remind yourself of how far you have come and how you are progressing.

[00:14:32] Number five, reflect on tomorrow by making a very short list, one to three things that are your priorities, and write down one nice thing you will do for yourself first thing on a post it. This is a separate post it. I want you to stick on your bathroom mirror. This could be an affirmation you will say to yourself while brushing your teeth.

[00:14:51] Like I am strong enough to face the day without drinking or a reminder that no matter what. I will lace up my walking shoes in the [00:15:00] morning and get outside for a brisk walk before starting my day because I know that helps to relieve anxiety and it will put me on track for the day. Your next check in after your evening is your morning check in.

[00:15:14] And I like to call this no before you go. Don't rush out the door or tap into news or social media or anything else before you tap into yourself. Shift into the day, jolt yourself into the day and just start running. Start with a peaceful mind and heart. You matter and you're worth the time it takes to take at least 10 minutes to sit down with yourself and review your list from the night before, your priorities, and check in with yourself to create a plan for the day, so you ease your mind and you focus on other things other than, I'm not drinking, I'm not drinking, I'm not drinking, I'm not drinking.

[00:15:50] I know that's so annoying, but that's what my mind sounded like in the beginning. Your morning check in starts with number one, ask yourself, how do you feel? Yep. I [00:16:00] like to sit in silence with this and breathe, connect with yourself during this time. Feel any worry or tension in your mind and body and write down what is causing you to feel this way.

[00:16:11] Or say it out loud, get it out. Because you know what? When we let that stuff fester, we're really causing it to be way more sometimes than what it is. And so write it down or say it out loud and just be aware of it. Cause self awareness is key. Cause then you're like, okay, this is what I was worried about.

[00:16:28] I'm not going to rush through my morning. I'm going to actually call out. My worries and my stressors for the day ahead, you're being such a great friend to yourself I want you to listen to yourself and what is happening with you get interested in yourself and be that friend to yourself. Go, you know what, you're going to be okay, kid, and then check in with your mindset.

[00:16:47] Are you leaning on the positive side of the day or the negative dread side of the day ahead, just knowing where you are and your mindset. Will help you really determine your energy in the morning and [00:17:00] it's like what I like to call low by being or high by being Or just neutral energy. I will wake up, let's say the evening before I wrote down 5 things that I want to do in the morning, and I didn't have a great night's sleep.

[00:17:13] So, in the morning I'll wake up and I'll just sit there for a minute, like, you know what? I don't feel that great. This is where the flexibility kicks in with ourselves. If you let it, oh my goodness, you could change your whole day around. And I will say. This is not important. Thought it was last night.

[00:17:29] This could be moved to Thursday instead of Tuesday. I'm very flexible with myself because if I'm low vibin nothing good is gonna come from it. Not everything is a priority, and everybody's gonna be okay if I move some things around.

[00:17:43] Don't suck it up. Don't feel bad about how you feel. You're human. Validate how you feel. Find that mindset and your mood and your energy for the day, so you can base the rest of your day off of it instead of forcing yourself into doing a bunch of things that just doesn't feel aligned with where you are in [00:18:00] the morning.

[00:18:01] Number two in the morning, practice gratitude, write down three to 10 things you are grateful for, or say them out loud. This is a great reminder to yourself of what matters most to you, the people in your life, the simple things like your morning coffee, and definitely practice gratitude for yourself and the work you are doing to be alcohol free.

[00:18:20] And please practice gratitude for the opportunities you are giving yourself. Each and every day you choose to be alcohol free. Number three in the morning, ask yourself, What do I need to do to stay alcohol free today? Going back to that question we asked in the evening, don't overthink this. Go with your mood, your mindset, and your energy.

[00:18:40] What do you need more of, and what do you need less of? Review your list of priorities, like I said from last night. Do you need less there? Maybe it's, I always like to check in with, you know, today for sure I need less of my phone in my hand. Because if I'm a low viber, I will go into the social media sock [00:19:00] and that just sucks more energy out of me.

[00:19:02] So I'm very aware of that. Like if I'm high vibing, then I actually have maybe something on my list for like two days ahead that I can move over. So I really follow my energy and shift my schedule around. I'm able to do that because I work for myself, but if you're not able to do that, remind yourself. If you are at work to take short self care breaks, you know, maybe I need more rest. Sometimes just going, sitting somewhere by yourself closing your eyes for a minute, doesn't have to be a nap, but just giving yourself more rest.

[00:19:34] Maybe I need less of a certain person. So maybe I can set up a plan to kind of. Not avoid, but not run into this person today. I used to do that when I worked in an office. Maybe you need more friend time, more connection time. Maybe there's a meeting that you can go to or a friend that you can call.

[00:19:51] Really look at that number three question, what do I need to stay alcohol free today? And do it as simply as I need more of this and I need less of this. [00:20:00] Number four, ask yourself, what will stand in my way of me staying alcohol free today? Now I know if I asked myself back in the day, it'd be me.

[00:20:09] I'm gonna be standing in my way because of all my drinking thoughts and everything. Drinking thoughts is a challenge. This is your time to write down any challenges you may face. Drinking thoughts, yourself. Maybe there's a self sabotage story you've got going on. A challenge could be if you're tired.

[00:20:24] You're feeling that low energy and you typically drink to boost your energy or you know, you have a stressful day of meetings, write it down and then write down what you will do to help yourself face these challenges. For example, if you're tired, I'm going to block out time to rest for 10 minutes. If you know that you have meetings all day inside, block out time for short energetic walks or listening to a podcast or music to keep your energy up, ease your mind here, knowing That you're going to face challenges.

[00:20:53] Sometimes you don't know about these challenges in the morning. That's okay. It doesn't mean that you need to drink. You deserve a plan [00:21:00] for these challenges because they aren't going away by drinking, but by knowing them and putting them down on paper will help you realize, okay, I've got this. I've got my own back.

[00:21:09] I don't need alcohol to have my back. Number five in the morning, write down your intention for the day. An intention that will support your choice to be alcohol free. For example, I intend to be kinder to myself and support myself like only I can throughout the day by saying nice things to myself.

[00:21:29] Like, you got this. You're doing it. I'm so proud of you. I intend to drink. 80 ounces of water today because that helps me not have a headache that helps my mood and my energy and keeps me on track with not drinking. I intend to strength train for 20 minutes today to relieve stress. I intend to do it during my most witching hour.

[00:21:51] That time of day where you're just really feeling that drinking urge. I intend to do it then because that's going to really help me pause and pivot. [00:22:00] Or I intend to go to a meeting tonight to get connected to others who are working, being on alcohol free because that just helps me feel so loved and supported.

[00:22:09] Or I intend to be flexible with myself today and take things off my list so I don't overwhelm myself. Your last check in is your midday. This is a friendly reminder that you matter and you deserve support.

[00:22:22] Your midday check in is essential to reviewing your morning plan and setting yourself up for an evening of alcohol freedom. Your drinking window may open at 2 p. m. This is when you start to have drinking thoughts and you may crave a drink. So plan your midday friendly reminder check in before that window opens.

[00:22:39] Let's say noon. check in by number one. Say it with me. Asking yourself how you feel. Yep. Check in like you would a friend. Are you hungry, angry, lonely, tired, you know, health, hungry, angry, lonely, tired, check in with those four things, and then shift into action mode to take care [00:23:00] of yourself.

[00:23:00] If you are someone who is telling yourself you're too busy to eat, or you're too busy to have downtime. Or you're too busy to have a good cry if you feel like it. I want you to do the opposite during these moments. Instead of pushing yourself through, midday is your time to really practice self care and compassion for yourself.

[00:23:19] A good journal session can help you work through mind drama and realize what is happening in your day really isn't that bad and put you into that action mode. Follow that energy. If it's low vibe, Maybe it's time to let it be low. And if you can, take everything off your plate to honor this energy. There is nothing good that's going to come from a low vibe state.

[00:23:40] Doing nothing is doing something for yourself. You are doing enough by staying alcohol free. Don't ever forget that. Number two, check in midday by supporting yourself. Reaffirm your commitment to stay alcohol free and recall your reason why.

[00:23:56] If it was there in the morning, it's there midday. Don't let [00:24:00] yourself forget it. Write your Y Power down a hundred times if you must. Don't let it slip away. Number three, midday, plan for that drinking window. This is a great time to just get out your activity list in the event you are triggered to drink in the evening.

[00:24:14] What will you do? You constantly must be working this list so you do create new habits that will become Second nature, if you are somebody who is very motivated to drink while you are cooking dinner, maybe this is a time of day where you check in and go, Oh my gosh, I'm low vibing. I do not feel like cooking dinner.

[00:24:32] Like I planned tonight. So we're going to order out. Somebody else is going to make dinner. I am not going to be in the kitchen. That is you protecting yourself. That is you caring for yourself. that's when you have to come to the point where you know yourself.

[00:24:47] There is this meeting that we just had inside team alcohol free, where we were talking about structure. And this is a lot of the tips from this planning session. Definitely came from the members of team alcohol free because number one is [00:25:00] that question That they all decided like this is what we need to check in with ourselves What do I need to do today to stay alcohol free?

[00:25:07] It's so important But we got to talking about having too much structure in your day Not having enough from having too much and you know yourself best You got to do what works for you, I don't want you to ever feel stressed By creating a daily plan for yourself. When you feel stressed out you're not going to do it.

[00:25:24] So let's break this down into a simple essential outline to just reflect on the key takeaways here. Number one, get in the habit of asking yourself how you feel and listening for the answers, feel your feelings and get to know what they are trying to tell you.

[00:25:41] They don't want to fester. They want to be revealed to help you do something other than drink them away. You are human and humans feel. So get in the habit of asking yourself how you feel. Number two, give yourself what you need to stay alcohol free throughout the day. Follow your energy and remind yourself that doing nothing is doing [00:26:00] something for yourself.

[00:26:01] And number three, know your obstacles and plan for them by saying. If I feel stressed, I will take a 10 minute walk outside.

[00:26:09] Put your mind at ease by knowing that you have a support system within yourself. No alcohol required. And lastly, review and reflect on your wins and gratitudes throughout the day. Document activities that help you stay alcohol free so you know the next time you face a challenge that you got through it this way.

[00:26:27] And man, if you faced a challenge and it tripped you up on your alcohol free journey, please write about it. Document it. Because you know what, that's when you're saying to yourself, This is what happened. I was really stressed and I had a drink. Write about it. Be kind to yourself about it and learn from that.

[00:26:45] Remember, you're not just documenting the, the good, you're documenting all of it. All of it. Treat yourself like you would a friend that is working on being alcohol free. Remind yourself. I can do hard things. I can be flexible with myself. I can [00:27:00] create structure and find balance in my day.

[00:27:02] And I can do things that will help me work through my cravings and my feelings and my urges to drink without drinking. I'm with you. And I'm always cheering for you. You want to get this episode delivered to your email inbox a day before it airs. So simple to get it right in your email. Join two 50 and beyond the email community link below in this episode's description.

[00:27:21] And if you're ready to explore and create an alcohol free lifestyle, and you want inspiration support and fun ways to make that happen, join the team, team alcohol free. The link to join is in the show notes, as always up next, a bonus episode where I'm answering some of the most frequently asked questions about going alcohol free and midlife and beyond coming your way in a couple of days, take care of yourself this week, my friend, peace.